President and Vinal House Plant, Joe Biden, says he will not call off his campaign for re-election

just because his debate performance proved he should call off his campaign for re-election. In a statement made to a mop, which he mistook for a 12-year-old girl with really nice smelling hair,

Biden said, quote,

Just because I had one bad debate doesn't mean I can't shenanigans

anagen boy in so buss-fobendubin.

Sure, I'm not moving as well as I used to and my voice sounds rough sometimes

and when it comes to going to the bathroom,

it can be virtually impossible and then suddenly take me completely

by surprise. And sometimes I wake up in the middle of the afternoon and find myself surrounded

by people talking to me about Ukraine when I've already explained that the Ukraine money is safely

hidden in one of my shell companies. But the point is yes I've lost some of my

faculties, maybe all of my faculties, but if you think that's going to stop me

from waging nuclear war at the highest possible level,

well all I can say is just watch me.

If there's one thing I've learned in all my years in government, it's that you've got to take a stand because walking is really, really hard.

So for anyone who thinks I'm senile, let me ask you one question.

Why does this little girl's hair smell like cleaning fluid? Unquote. President Biden made his statement to the attractive mop, despite fears expressed by his top donors,

often in the form of hysterical high-pitched screams or just by sitting curled up in a corner of the kitchen floor quietly sobbing,

please please give me back my money.

The crisis in the Biden campaign arose after a sub-par debate performance in which the president stared into empty space

slack-jawed and drooling

before droning incomprehensible and repeatedly saying look here's the deal for no

...