CNN, the most trusted name in complete dishonesty, has announced the rules for this month's debate between Donald Trump and some guy with glazed eyes and a frozen smile on his face wandering aimlessly around the stage, namely the President of the

United States. The debate will be moderated by two CNN stalwarts, Jake

Tapper and Dana Bash. Tapper, of course, is the journalist who famously said it's okay that COVID is dominating

your life because it has dominated your life, thus winning the Pulitzer Prize for

pouling fear-mongering in the cause of

disinformation. And Dana Bash is widely believed to have set a new standard in

objectivity by sucking up to Nancy Pelosi so hard, their faces merged into a single swampy flesh

puddle of noxious lies so terrifying to look upon that horror movie fans are eagerly

awaiting this summer sequel, Dana Bash 2, this time it's a debate.

Behind the scenes, Democrats have expressed some concern that it might be unfair to pit

Donald Trump in a battle of wits against a man who now lives in a

little red pot on the window sill in the hope that if he gets enough sunshine and water,

his leaves will stop turning brown. So the DNC working closely with another Democrat

organization, CNN, has devised some debate rules to help level the playing field.

Rule number one, when answering the moderator's questions, both candidates must

respond in a weirdly disconnected tone of rage, slurring their words while

spewing demagogic race-bating inanities that haven't described life as it's

actually lived in America since 1962 and then let their voices trail off into a

mumbled mess of incomprehensible noise which when slowed down and played

backwards either announces the death of Paul McCartney or the name of the Shell

company to which Hunter can wire 10% of his influence peddling payoffs.

Democrats feel this rule will help eliminate

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