Different universities are dealing with pro-Hamais demonstrations in different ways.

At Chicago's Northwestern University, the administration negotiated a deal with the protesters.

The university agreed to hire two Palestinian faculty members and supply them each with five co-ads as wives,

along with two alternate wives to replace any wives who turn out not to be virgins,

and then three more alternate wives to replace any wives who turn out not to be virgins and then three more

alternate wives to replace the other wives who turn out not to be virgins and

then just more and more alternate wives because after all these girls are from

Northwestern. In return for these concessions the protesters

agreed to leave campus long enough for the university's Jewish students to make an escape

attempt whereupon the protesters will suddenly come back.

Other universities dealt with the demonstrations in ways that were more controversial.

For instance, at the University of Florida, the administration called in the police to spray the protesters with tear gas

and then mow them down with machine gun bullets which many felt was a flagrant waste of

tear gas. At Columbia University in New York school president Manouche Chafique hit on a hybrid method of de-escalation

after protesters occupied a building

and refused to leave until Israel stopped the genocide so Hamas could murder all the Jews.

Ms. Shefique began by begging the protesters to please please go away so the other students

could enjoy their graduation until they realized they had plunged

themselves into crippling debt for no reason. When that didn't work, Ms. Shefique

threatened the protesters with suspension, then asked them to please, please forgive

her for threatening them with suspension.

Then said she would never call in the police, then called in the police,

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