A new spate of polls has been released showing that only about 35% of Americans want to see a

rerun of the presidential race between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. Approximately 57% of Americans

would rather watch a rerun of Ren and Stimpy adult party cartoon, while 65% would prefer to have

one of those pimples you sometimes get on the inside of your lip and then you forget about it and

drink a glass of orange juice and it feels like your face is full of hydrochloric acid.

Approximately 80% of people who don't work in the news media say a Biden candidacy would be

inappropriate because the president's body has begun to decay and it smells bad and yet he keeps

saying Bidenomics is working in a scary whisper voice distracting them when they're trying to hunt

down a squirrel for dinner. Conversely, 80% of those who are in the news media say they don't

smell anything and anyway it's probably just some meat that's gone rotten in the refrigerator

and there's absolutely no evidence that Biden is corrupt as he obviously is so everything's fine.

Around 70% of Republicans who oppose a Trump candidacy say it's because Trump keeps making that

giant frowny face so he looks like a walking mugshot and also because he keeps posting on truth

social about how everyone he doesn't like should be executed and they're beginning to worry he

may be serious and also because just look at him for crying out loud. What are you crazy? 95%

of Democrats who oppose Trump run around in circles screaming that Hitler held transsexual slaves

in the American South before murdering George Floyd with fossil fuels then the Democrats set off

the fire alarm explaining they were in a hurry to go to the bathroom and throw up because climate

change has created so much racism that you can't even castrate your child without Republicans banning

abortion. Although Republicans denounced the Democrats for setting off the alarm Democrats defended

the action saying they had to do it because they're completely hysterical. Since the American people

want better candidates than last time both Democrats and Republicans are working hard to make sure

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