The White House press office has opened a new department of the president is fine, according

to a report from the New York Times New Bureau of the president is fine.

In a front-page story headlined, the president is fine, which says that the White House

department of the president is fine, says the president is fine.

According to the White House, the department of the president is fine, will be tasked with

explaining to the public that the president is not doing what he's obviously doing, or

saying what he's obviously saying, but instead is fine.

The White House announced the new department of the president is fine after the president

neglected to schedule an appearance at ground zero for the September 11th Memorial because

he wasn't sure what date September 11th would fall on this year.

Instead, the president went to Hanoi, the site of America's humiliating surrender in Vietnam,

where he rambled incomprehensibly about the phrase lying dog face pony soldier from a

1953 John Wayne movie.

The White House department of the president is fine, immediately issued a clarification,

explaining that the president had actually intended to ramble incomprehensibly about a

1952 Tyrone Power movie in which the phrase also does not appear.

So the president is fine.

The Hanoi press conference ended when the president's incomprehensible rambling became so incomprehensible

that the director of the department of the president is fine, Karin John Identity Hire

had to drown the president out by loudly playing the piano as the president is fine dancers

kick-line their way on stage to carry the president into the wings while singing their official

theme song.

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