American journalists and other sentient pustules on the goat-like buttocks of Satan are absolutely

furious with conservatives because conservatives are mocking the US women's soccer team after the

team's hilariously humiliating loss to Mesopotamia or Sweden or some absurd backwater like that.

Conservative reaction to the American team's comical downfall ranged from startled surprise that a

soccer match had been going on to startled surprise that anyone from a great country like the

United States would stoop to playing a crap hole time waste or like soccer.

It's a startled surprise that women would play soccer when they should be doing something useful

or entertaining to uncontrollable laughter that the women's team had lost before conservatives were

even aware they were playing whatever it was they were playing, which we can't remember

because it was soccer. Now, for everyone who had something better to do than pay attention to

soccer, perhaps I should explain. I'm sorry, I misread that sentence, so let me start again.

For everyone who had something better to do than pay attention to soccer, let me explain.

It turns out there actually is, or maybe once was, a US woman's soccer team and they actually

did set a record by losing the women's world cup before any of us knew such a thing existed.

This amusingly public graveyard spin of spectacular basement occurred when Meghan Rappen though

and Il Manard, an unpleasant anti-American loudmouth, missed a shot so easy that anyone could have

made it if anyone cared enough about soccer to waste time kicking a ball that any self-respecting

American would have picked up and thrown with the hands God gave him. Now, to be fair to the American

news media and other winged spawns of the dark night of Western moral collapse, conservatives did

seem to take some pleasure in the hitherto unheard of American teams pricelessly ignominious defeat.

As one conservative commentator put it quote, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

unquote. But to look at it from a different angle than the media's, let's say the angle of

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