Hey, it's Andrew Klaven. I'm on vacation, so I have no clue what is going on,

and I plan to keep it that way for as long as I possibly can. Meanwhile,

I want you to enjoy the best content on the Daily Wire, which is my show,

the best of my show, which of course is the best content on the Daily Wire, or indeed anywhere.

Stay tuned.

As you know, we Hollywood writers are on strike right now, and you may be saying to yourself,

oh no, who will take our favorite childhood cartoon characters and transform them into sexually

deviant groomers so that the minds and lives of our own children can be destroyed by the very

franchises we had come to love and trust. And yes, that is a problem, but the fact is the corrupt,

greedy industry moguls who've been pumping toxic and immoral sludge into our culture

for the last 60 years aren't paying us enough to write the scripts.

Now, if the strike continues too long, screen content may start to dry up, and some of you

may be forced to seek your entertainment elsewhere, like in great novels or

conversation with your friends or classic old thomas on TCM or even just quietly reading the

Bible to yourself until you never want to watch another morally repugnant modern movie ever

again and may even be inspired to hunt down every Hollywood content creator of any kind whatsoever

and tie his shoelaces together while he's napping so that when he wakes up and gets to his feet,

he falls over and cracks his head open and gets to feel what it's like for the rest of us to watch

a modern American movie. In order to prevent that from happening, I personally would like to ban

the Bible before you find out what's in it, but there's just too many damn copies out there,

so instead I'll try to divert your attention by giving you a rundown of the great great content

we're just waiting to write for you as soon as we can get the miserable capitalist pigs who are

...