Childhood should be fun. Don't let bed wetting spoil that.

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Have a dry night sleep. And wake up awesome!

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As you know, we Hollywood writers are on strike right now.

And you may be saying to yourself, oh no, who will take our favorite childhood cartoon characters

and transform them into sexually deviant groomers so that the minds and lives of our own children

can be destroyed by the very franchises we had come to love and trust.

And yes, that is a problem. But the fact is the corrupt greedy industry moguls

who've been pumping toxic and immoral sludge into our culture for the last 60 years

aren't paying us enough to write the scripts.

Now, if the strike continues too long, screen content may start to dry up.

And some of you may be forced to seek your entertainment elsewhere,

like in great novels or conversation with your friends or classic old thomas on TCM

or even just quietly reading the Bible to yourself until you never want to watch

another morally repugnant modern movie ever again and may even be inspired

to hunt down every Hollywood content creator of any kind whatsoever

and tie his shoelaces together while he's napping so that when he wakes up

and gets to his feet, he falls over and cracks his head open

and gets to feel what it's like for the rest of us to watch a modern American movie.

In order to prevent that from happening, I personally would like to ban the Bible

before you find out what's in it. But there's just too many damn copies out there,

...