You know, they say that no one is all bad.

Not sure enough, presidential son Hunter Biden has taken time off from his busy schedule,

corruptly peddling his father's political influence to our Chinese communist enemies,

in order to try to get out of paying child support to the daughter he can't remember fathering

off a former stripper. So when they say no one is all bad, what the hell are they talking about?

To recap the history of the case, Hunter originally denied that his daughter was his,

saying he had no memory of his sexual encounter with the child's mother,

but could only recall a cocaine-fueled dream of a naked wrestling match with an inflatable

sex doll that magically came to life when she and Hunter fell through the front of a 60-inch

flat screen television and ended up as animated characters in an episode of the Renan Stimpi

Adult Party cartoon. A DNA test, however, proved that the little girl was in fact Hunter's child,

although it did also confirm that Hunter was an animated character in Renan Stimpi.

Hunter then agreed to pay $20,000 a month in child support, which he planned to take out of the

$50,000 a month he was getting from Ukrainian oligarchs in return for his father sending $75 billion

in military aid to Ukraine in order to start World War III in the hope that a globe-destroying nuclear

conflict would distract voters from skyrocketing crime and runaway inflation.

With those hopes temporarily on hold, however, Hunter says his income has been reduced to whatever

few measly millions of dollars he can rake in by selling his worthless paintings for inflated

prices to shadowy anonymous buyers in return for an I'm with Hunter T-shirt and unspecified

political favors from the president of the United States. At the same time, the little girl's

mother is asking that her daughter be allowed to change her last name to Biden because, quote,

and this is a real quote, the Biden name is now synonymous with being well-educated, successful,

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