On this show, we are never afraid to examine the insights and ramifications of leftist theory,

because there's only so many times we can watch the movie's sausage party and we need a good laugh.

Today, we'd like to take a look at the theory of systemic racism. The left's attempt to explain

why American blacks fail to thrive, even though Democrats have done everything they can to destroy

them. To begin with, let's use the term in context. Let's say you're a sleazy Democrat conwoman.

Who's the president of the American Federation of Teachers? Only not named Randy Weingarden

because we don't want to get sued. And this low grifter, let's call her Wendy Rams Bottom,

uses her sinister control of the Democrat Party to keep schools closed for two years so her teachers

get paid while poor children sink into incurable ignorance. Now, whiny Garfinkle has created a

situation where many black children who weren't getting much of an education from Barfee Wine

Fartle anyway can't read or write so employers won't hire them and the only job they can get

is starting fist fights at McDonald's. Systemic racism occurs when employers privilege reading and

writing because that's what rich white people do because they don't go to schools controlled by

low sleazy Democrats like Farty Weincandy. So, how exactly is systemic racism defined?

Well, let's take each word and turn. Racism is a meaningless noise you scream in a harsh

repetitive voice that sounds something like a seagull being chased by a jackhammer. And systemic

is a multi-syllabic nonsense meant to make the screeching seagull noise sound like it means something.

Put the two words together and systemic racism means someone has noticed that Democrats have

destroyed the lives of black people and you have to drown them out by screaming systemic racism.

Now, here's what makes the theory of systemic racism so much fun.

Once Democrat unions have abandoned public education in black neighborhoods, once you've installed

Democrat welfare programs that encourage fatherless children among the poor, once Democrats have

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