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Slack.com slash DHQ. Many of you are deeply concerned about the political ramifications

of M&M's, if you're fat and toothless, and have literally not one other thing to

think about. As you know, the Mars Candy Company decided to change the look of its advertisement

spokescandies to modify woke sensibilities after receiving a petition signed by as many

as one person, who said that while he was not usually offended because he had a hard

outer shell, he was soft on the inside and the old spokescandies were so insensitive,

they made him feel like he was melting, although not in your hand, only in your mouth. What

he was doing in your mouth, I don't want to know. In the good old days, when men were

men and women were small, chocolate globules with an occasional peanut inside, M&M's

were represented in advertisements by lovable anthropomorphic M&Ms, who made a smile and

chuckle right up until the moment we devoured them, giving us the forbidden thrill of cannibalism

along with cavities and a midsection that looked like an inner tube. Then the Mars Candy

Company started changing the look of the M&M characters to give them, and I cannot emphasize

enough that I am not making this quote up at reading a word for word off the press announcement,

they wanted to give the talking candy's quote more nuanced personalities to underscore

the importance of self-expression and power of community through storytelling.

Unquote. This was widely recognized as the greatest marketing decision since the historic

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