If we got a tall tree this year and I sawed off the lower branches, do you?

Do you think that maybe I could be your Christmas present?

I would like that. I would like that a lot. I would love to be your Christmas present.

In fact, I've been planning on being your Christmas present all year long.

It's true.

It all started when I saw a little video, well, I think it was January, maybe February.

I was looking for something to masturbate, too, and...

Well, I like amateur stuff.

It's just who I am.

It's more authentic.

It gets the blood going right to my cog.

Anyway, I was having a lot of fun with it too.

And, well, I came across a video I normally wouldn't click on it.

It wasn't very long, only about three and a half minutes, and, well, it had an odd title,

making myself a present from my man.

I...

I don't know what else to say besides...

I'm not sure what to say besides...

Well, I...

I... I didn't really want much from it, but when I clicked on it, I became very, very excited.

You see, it went from an ordinary little video of a woman taking a, you know, selfie, essentially, to something taboo in an instant.

And I wasn't seeking it out.

...