3.6 • 4.8K Ratings
🗓️ 25 March 2025
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
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Quick funny clips from the Opie Radio podcast with Food Network legend Carl Ruiz, Theo Von, Sherrod Small, Jamey Jasta from Hatebreed and radio legend Mike Calta.
Get ready for a wild and hilarious ride with this episode of Comedy Quick Hits, the side-splitting spin-off from the Opie Radio podcast! This time, we’re serving up a feast of laughs with the late, great Food Network icon Carl Ruiz as the centerpiece, dreaming up his ultimate meal in a way only he could. But that’s just the appetizer—Opie and the crew dig into a smorgasbord of gut-busting topics, from dentist chair confessions and rage-fueled rants to the bizarre business of selling your own poop and nostalgic trips down childhood memory lane, all delivered with their signature irreverent humor. This episode is packed with killer clips featuring comedy heavyweights like Theo Von, Sherrod Small, Hatebreed’s Jamey Jasta, and radio titan Mike Calta, each bringing their A-game to the mic. It’s a chaotic, laugh-out-loud mashup of the best moments from the Opie Radio archives, stitched together for maximum hilarity.
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0:00.0 | If you want a choice to bang your dream girl or eat your dream meal, and you can only do one, which one would you choose? |
0:07.9 | And the other one you choose, the other one's gone forever. |
0:13.0 | The fucking food, bro. |
0:14.6 | I know of your food. |
0:15.6 | I'm too old. |
0:16.5 | I mean, what's the point? |
0:17.6 | The problem with it, listen, 20 years ago, when I didn't look like a fucking veal, |
0:22.4 | I would have to be the hottest girl. |
0:24.4 | I'm knowing she's looking at my like B cup fucking chest and shit. |
0:28.3 | It's done, man. |
0:29.5 | Like, I don't even want to, I'll just take blow jobs at this point and eat the chocolate. |
0:33.1 | Like, I'm done. |
0:34.1 | I don't even want to have fucking sex. |
0:35.9 | You know what? I'm glad you brought that. I'm disgusted with myself. |
0:39.0 | Theo Varn, what's going on, buddy? |
0:40.6 | Oh, good to see you, gentlemen, today. |
0:42.2 | Then you just met Mike Coulter? |
0:44.3 | Mm-hmm. |
0:44.4 | Theo was on my show a long time ago. |
0:46.1 | Oh, really? |
0:46.5 | Yeah, yeah. |
0:47.2 | Yeah. Bert was like, Theo was coming and I go, the MTV guy? And he goes, no, he's fucking, he's funny. |
... |
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