The Washington Post, where democracy dies in darkness, if they have anything to say about it,

has obtained secret information from anonymous sources at the highest level of government,

showing that the government is in no way a threat to our constitutional freedoms.

The shocking revelation comes after Attorney General Merrick Garland had the FBI

sent 30 armed men to ransack the home of his boss's political opponent, proving beyond a shadow

of the doubts has the post that the Department of Justice is fully dedicated to enforcing the law

equally. On anyone named Donald Trump, no matter which Republican Party he belongs to.

According to the post, anonymous sources say insiders believe that sources who ask to remain

anonymous are saying government officials close to the anonymous source of the anonymous sources

are revealing under oath and closed door hearings with unnamed officials that the Department of

Justice is totally uncorrupt and has acted so well and wisely that their motives could only be

questioned by the most extreme right-wing extremists, extremely threatening to commit extreme right-wing

violence, extremely in extreme extremities of right-wing extremeness. Anonymous sources say,

the post says they have contacted one source so close to Merrick Garland that the two are almost

indistinguishable and they can now reveal that Garland acted with absolute integrity and only after

thinking very carefully while stroking his chin with a totally serious expression on his face

and gazing out the window at the Washington Monument to remind himself of the deep responsibility he

has to uphold the law fairly until it crushes Trump for ruining his chances to be on the Supreme Court

that lousy orange head son of a bitch. The indistinguishable Garland source appearing as a silhouette

in an underground parking garage like in that cool scene with deep throat in all the president's

men told the post quote, as an anonymous source, I can reliably report that anonymous sources tell me

Donald Trump was hiding the nuclear codes in Melania's Lacey and terrific smelling lingerie which

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