The New York primary results are in and New York Republicans have overwhelmingly voted for a

Myasmic Shroud of Moral Darkness. New York is where the future comes to rehearse at one voter

in an exit poll and we see a future in which a Myasmic Shroud of Moral Darkness covers not only our

state, but the nation as a whole. We wanted our vote to show the world that we could bring an end

to both the Republic and all the best hopes for the future of humanity. On the Democrat side,

New Yorkers had a choice between economically crippling and morally-debaced corruption and

economically crippling and morally-debaced socialism. Said one New York voter as he left the

polling place, quote, my feeling is that it doesn't really matter whether its socialism

were corruption as long as we vote for something economically crippling and morally-debaced,

then it's in keeping with the principles of the Democratic Party. As the returns came in

last night, New York voters of both parties gathered together to celebrate the outcome and to dance

around a golden calf performing ritual sexual acts, committing human sacrifices and collecting

bags of souvenir swag. The chief speaker of the celebration told the assembled crowd,

congratulations on your primaries New York, I am DeGon, I am Mollek, I am Ball,

serve me and I will destroy all that is good and beautiful. As the crowd cheered, one New York

voter remarked, why isn't he running for president? We could have just voted for him.

The speeches were followed by a brief ceremony in which the Moral Darkness of the Republicans and

the Moral debasement of the Democrats were conjured into human shape as a 12-story high figure

of Donald Trump and an equally enormous Hillary Clinton. Then the two gigantic golems were set loose

to stage a Titanic struggle destined to leave the entire nation in ruins. It's sort of like the

final fight between Superman and Zod at the end of Man of Steel said one excited primary voter,

except instead of just destroying a city and killing thousands, it could bring down the entire

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