You're listening to the Recovery Happy Hour where we talk about life beyond the bottle and what happens after we stop drinking.

I'm your host Tricia and it's at the point in our Texas summer season where it's hot enough to just make me hate everyone. Thank you for joining me.

We're talking about blackouts on today's introduction and

blacking out is a big part of my story. I was 20 when I started occasionally blacking out when I drank and then it slowly

progressed over time and eventually became my normal. We'll get into what blackouts are here in a second if you don't

know about this phenomenon but I was 35 when I quit drinking and by that point I

estimate that I blacked out about 75% of the time.

And this is also a big reason why I stopped going out at the end of my career.

You know, it got so scary because I could never remember what happened the next day.

It's funny like when we think about the stigma of an alcoholic or we try to

defend our drinking and we say, oh, would I never drink alone?

I drank alone because I was afraid of how I was when I drank.

You know, I was afraid of going out and blacking out and falling and not remembering it and that's why I

drank alone it wasn't because I necessarily like wanted to isolate with my bottle of

wine. Blacking out is often confused with passing out and there's a big difference.

Someone who passes out has either fallen asleep or become unconscious because they

drink too much. Blacking out is a temporary condition

that it affects your memory

and it's characterized by a sense of lost time.

But you're awake when it happens.

So for example, you might have gotten drunk and remembered

every part of your night up until about 10 p.m. but according to your text

...