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Slack.com slash DHQ. Joe Biden attended the United Nations General Assembly this week

to deliver his first speech there as president and vinyl house plan. The UN speech was

an urgently important and deeply essential game changer, and so I wanted to redo the

transcript in case you didn't watch it either. Speaking to cardboard cutouts of many of

the world's most important leaders, Biden said, quote,

good afternoon and where am I? I come before whoever you are today to deliver an important

message about some damn thing or other. The time for war is over. War is bad because

when you surrender, everyone starts screaming at you like it's your fault. So let's have

diplomacy instead because that way nothing happens and no one pays any attention. And

let me say this to our new masters, the Taliban. Now that I've left you with no constraints

on your power, don't forget to be nice to women. Women should not be forced to cower

in silent terror in their homes, but should be appointed to parliament so they can cower

in silent terror there where it's more comfortable and you can occasionally send out for Chinese.

Although hopefully not the sort of Chinese who are spreading viruses and trying to take

over the world, but maybe something you can wrap in a pancake with that tasty moushousauce

we all love so very much. The time has come to stop wasting our efforts on restoring

world order and to turn our attention to climate change and other meaningless crap we can

...