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Slack.com slash DHQ. Rapidly adapting to facts on the ground, the Biden administration

has announced a change in its Afghanistan strategy, abandoning their plans for a criminally

incompetent and chaotic withdrawal, recklessly scheduled for slimy political reasons, and

adopting a new policy of abject and humiliating surrender to a medieval enemy. The change

in tactic was announced at a ceremony in the Capitol building where Volkswagen drove

into the rotunda and the complete staff of the White House, the State Department, and

the Pentagon poured out of the tiny car wearing hilarious oversized shoes and adorable red

noses that honked when you squeeze them.

Fake news anchor men, Brian Williams, commented on the delightful ceremony from an evacuation

helicopter built on the set of his MSNBC show and jiggled around to make it look like it

was flying through Slack. Williams said, quote, you have to admire this American president

for openly embracing the fact that he's a clown. I just sort of wish he weren't the clown

from that Stephen King movie.

Unquote.

In light of the new abject policy, White House bespoke woman, Jen Pesaki issued new

advisories for those Americans and Afghans completely abandoned to our victorious enemies.

Number one, for those 12 year old girls being forced to quote, unquote, marry Taliban soldiers,

...