Ep. 104 - Exclusive: President Obama Says Something True!
The Andrew Klavan Show
The Andrew Klavan Show
4.8 • 22.7K Ratings
🗓️ 12 April 2016
⏱️ 33 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | At TikTok, we're known for entertainment, but behind the scenes, we commit it to safety within our community. |
| 0:06.0 | That's why we set all TikTok accounts age between 13 and 15 as private, with no access to direct messaging. |
| 0:13.0 | Our family pairing tool lets you link your account to your teams, so you can adjust what content they see, |
| 0:19.0 | and manage how long your family spends on TikTok with our screen time management tool. |
| 0:23.0 | Safety, your priorities, our commitment. |
| 0:26.0 | Search TikTok Guardians Guide to learn more. |
| 0:30.0 | Many voters are beginning to complain that the rules governing presidential primaries are too complex and arcane for knuckleheads like themselves to understand. |
| 0:39.0 | Today is a helpful guide, the Daily Wire, provides a simple primer. |
| 0:43.0 | First, the Democrats. |
| 0:45.0 | Democrats hold primaries in all 50 states, plus places like American Samoa and the Northern Mariana's that they just made up to mess with you. |
| 0:52.0 | In primary states, voters gather together to vote for Bernie Sanders, and then delegates are awarded to Hillary Clinton. |
| 0:58.0 | If Sanders wins majority of votes by July, Hillary will be named the nominee before the convention begins. |
| 1:04.0 | If Sanders fails to win enough votes, then Hillary will be named the nominee. |
| 1:08.0 | Then there are super delegates. |
| 1:10.0 | Democrats created the super delegate system to solve the problem of ordinary people voting for candidates who aren't Hillary Clinton. |
| 1:16.0 | Super delegates are the same as regular delegates, except that they wear capes and don't care what the voters want. |
| 1:22.0 | Regular delegates also don't care about the voters, but they don't have the capes. |
| 1:26.0 | In several states, Democrats have caucuses instead of primaries at these caucuses ordinary citizens gather together in meeting halls and school auditoriums where they eat coffee cake, |
| 1:35.0 | and roll around on the floor, punching one another to determine who is the most racist. |
| 1:39.0 | Then the state's delegates are awarded to Hillary Clinton. |
| 1:42.0 | Republican primaries and caucuses are generally held atop cloud and shrouded crags of rock occasionally lit by jagged streaks of lightning. |
| 1:49.0 | Animals are sacrificed to dark Republican gods, and the blood of virgins also plays a role, though it isn't exactly clear what that role is, or where you can find a virgin. |
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