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Many voters are beginning to complain that the rules governing presidential primaries are too complex and arcane for knuckleheads like themselves to understand.

Today is a helpful guide, the Daily Wire, provides a simple primer.

First, the Democrats.

Democrats hold primaries in all 50 states, plus places like American Samoa and the Northern Mariana's that they just made up to mess with you.

In primary states, voters gather together to vote for Bernie Sanders, and then delegates are awarded to Hillary Clinton.

If Sanders wins majority of votes by July, Hillary will be named the nominee before the convention begins.

If Sanders fails to win enough votes, then Hillary will be named the nominee.

Then there are super delegates.

Democrats created the super delegate system to solve the problem of ordinary people voting for candidates who aren't Hillary Clinton.

Super delegates are the same as regular delegates, except that they wear capes and don't care what the voters want.

Regular delegates also don't care about the voters, but they don't have the capes.

In several states, Democrats have caucuses instead of primaries at these caucuses ordinary citizens gather together in meeting halls and school auditoriums where they eat coffee cake,

and roll around on the floor, punching one another to determine who is the most racist.

Then the state's delegates are awarded to Hillary Clinton.

Republican primaries and caucuses are generally held atop cloud and shrouded crags of rock occasionally lit by jagged streaks of lightning.

Animals are sacrificed to dark Republican gods, and the blood of virgins also plays a role, though it isn't exactly clear what that role is, or where you can find a virgin.

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