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Slack.com slash DHQ. This year's annual J-R-R Tolkien seminar will be bringing a woke

sensibility to its discussions of Lord of the Rings because participating academics are

afraid there may still be areas of artistic achievement and audience enjoyment that haven't

yet been ruined by their stupid and immoral ideology. Millions of readers around the world

who have been delighted by the intricate fantasy world Tolkien constructed out of a potent

mixture of learning, faith and imagination can now look forward to having their delight

crushed to fragments then ground into the dirt, then crapped on, then mocked, then ground

into the dirt again by merciless politicized hacks who will spend the seminar presenting

such academic papers as Gondor in transition a brief introduction to transgender realities

in Lord of the Rings and pardoning Soromon, the queer in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, oh, Claven, you Johnny Applesy'd like

disseminator of flowering hilarity. What an antique fancy you must harbor within that unnervingly

attractive body that you could make up the sort of ridiculous titles for academic papers

that highlight the absurd narcissism of today's liberal arts professors as well as their

clownish stupidity, thus making us laugh uproariously at the same time we daydream about

what it would be like to be stranded for three days on a desert island with you a skimpy

negligee and a bottle of the feet Rothschild. Hey, that would certainly be special, but no,

...