Leftists have canceled the past because people did bad things there, which weren't as good as the good things

Leftists are doing now because of the values learned from the past which no longer exists

President and Vinal House Plant Joe Biden has declared March the end of history month

Which will replace women's history month which is now men's history month and so has become sexist and has been canceled

Speaking to a statue of Thomas Jefferson, he mistook for his late Aunt Gladys the soon-to-be former president said quote

We must renounce the history that has taught us to be virtuous in order to be as virtuous as the history taught us to be

By expunging all memory of everything that happened before yesterday

We will go into a new tomorrow that won't even be tomorrow because there'll be no yesterday to compare it to and so

It'll just be today forever and think how happy will be then

unquote

Among the evil historical figures who will now be deemed non-existent will be such racist former humans as Abraham Lincoln

The hysterical leader of a white leftist Twitter mob white leftist snowy or white declared whitely quote

When I think of how virtuous and anti-racist I am Lincoln just can't compare

Sure he freed the slaves and took a bullet to the head for his defensive liberty

But he never accomplished as much as white leftists like myself who just today tweeted insults at conservatives and

Pretended to like rap music when let's face it. We all know it's crap

My hope is that we can cleanse America of its evil history of slavery so that everyone will finally be as sinless as I pretend to be and

Think how much money will save on reparations?

unquote

Professor Beauregard T. Grifter who heads the School of Critical Race gibberish in the Department of Nonsense at the university

Formerly named after slaveholder Eli Yale

But now just represented by a gigantic

...