Engaging and Navigating Regret

The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center

Psychology, Religion & Spirituality, Mental Health, Christianity, Trauma, Health & Fitness, Theology

4.6 • 628 Ratings

🗓️ 8 January 2021

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This past year was unlike any other we’ve experienced. Our plans, goals, resolutions, and carefully crafted calendars for 2020 were all but thrown out the window as a result of the pandemic. It’s normal to look back at the year with grief for all that was lost and not accomplished. The feeling of regret, however, can become so heavy that it pulls us down into a cycle of negative thinking, contempt, and judgement. How then are we to begin a new year with grace for ourselves in order to move forward into all that 2021 has to offer?

Last year, Dan and Becky addressed the issue of regret, and how so often our regrets inhibit us from reflecting well on the past. To address regret, Dan says, we need to be able to acknowledge that it is a “cheap counterfeit” of what we are afraid of, which is allowing our hearts to open to what we most desire in relationship with others. Regret has the ability to open ourselves to dreams and desires, but we need to ask ourselves: Can we bless our desires, even in the midst of this sadness?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thank you for listening to the Allender Center podcast.
0:06.7	I'm Dr. Dan Allender.
0:08.7	And I'm Rachel Clinton-Centen.
0:10.5	We're fiercely committed to providing hope and healing to a fragmented world.
0:14.7	And restoration for the heart.
0:17.2	Thank you for joining us.
0:18.5	Let's get this conversation started.
0:27.9	Thank you for joining us. Let's get this conversation started. Well, there is no one on the earth that I would rather end a year and begin a year with than my beloved wife.
0:36.1	Thank you for joining me back. It's good to be on with you, honey.
0:40.1	Well, we're going to talk about the end of the year, the beginning of the year. And in many ways,
0:44.4	I think as we talk about the end of a year, I think it's really important to address the issue of
0:50.1	regret. And as we begin a year, we need to address worry. And in many ways, right from the
0:57.4	beginning, what I want to say is we define it, try and put words to it, try and explicate it
1:03.1	through our own lives. I want you to hear that in many ways, regret and worry are almost identical.
1:10.5	Regret is reflection of worry on the past, and in some
1:14.7	ways, worry is an anticipation of regret in the future. So as we deal with these two topics,
1:22.8	we're really wanting you to hear they do bookend one another. So as we come to thinking about the nature
1:31.3	of how a year ends, I've noticed a lot of friends who say they don't reflect back on a year.
1:38.1	They don't go back through a calendar. They don't reflect on major events. They just get on
1:43.9	with the next year.
1:45.5	Because Christmas is such a compelling and complex season.
1:50.6	It's easy just to get overwhelmed, come to the new year, and sort of set your sights forward to what is ahead.
	...

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