Helping your child feel loved is an essential ingredient to helping them succeed in life.

I'm John Fuller with Dr. Danny who leads our parenting team here and Danny I'm sure that in your counseling practice you have dealt with a lot of

discouraged kids who feel like you know what my parents set a bar this high I

can't meet it, I give up.

And those are well-intended parents, right?

They want the very best for their kids.

They want them to achieve well, to get the very best they can in life.

And you're right, it's usually the high achieving critical task focus parents

that inadvertently cause this idea that I can never measure up. I remember this one

very particular high achieving dad where the son said

I can never measure up to my dad. He does great at his job. He takes on anything and very, very well. He just saw his dad is pretty much perfect. And then

when he tried to achieve in whatever, his grades or or sports his dad would come back with hey that's good son

but here's something you can do to improve and it was just never enough and it was good

for that dad to begin to learn how to love his son well to let him know how to grow in a healthy way.

I wonder if your kids are feeling like they can't hit the bar,'s never good enough if so you're going to

be encouraged I think by what Dr. Gary Chapman had to share because our kids are

going to mess up our response is critical and Dr Chapman has some really helpful

ideas on how to deal with that.

You mentioned the idea of love and your kids feeling loved. I think we struggle especially in the Christian

community. Unconditional love, I think only Jesus could deliver that. You know,

really, if we're honest about it because there's always a bit of performance

involved especially with our kids and we don't want to be there and we're taught by

...