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For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

[Encore] Why ‘Let Them’ Might Be the Kindest Words You Can Say to Yourself

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Jen Hatmaker

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.66.4K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2026

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Description:  Jen revisits this fan favorite episode with Mel Robbins. Buckle up, listeners.  It was only a matter of time before our paths crossed with Mel Robbins, one of the most respected experts on change and motivation in the zeitgeist, and today is that day. Known for being the host of the #1 ranking education podcast in the world, bringing deeply relatable topics, tactical advice, tools, and compelling conversations to her audiences, Jen and Amy spend today’s hour diving into Mel’s “Let Them” theory, which is taking the world by storm, already delivering instant peace and freedom in the lives and relationships of people putting it into practice. Together, they discuss: The difference between “Let Them” and “Let Me” Learning to release the white-knuckle grip we hold over other people’s behavior (and other things beyond our control) Reframing disappointment to view it as a gift (yes, it’s possible!) Repositioning self-worth inward, rather than leaving it dependent on others' opinions. Thought-provoking Quotes: “For a lot of women, we spend so much time upstairs in our heads as people-pleasers and over-analyzers, over-thinking and ruminating, trying to get things perfect. That’s the last place I should be, personally. I need to drop into my body and get out of my head.” – Mel Robbins “People reveal who they are and what they care about through their behavior. Ignore their words. Watch their behavior. Let people be who they are. Let them do what they’re going to do. Focusing on them is not where your power is.” – Mel Robbins “The difference between ‘not my business’ and ‘let them’ is worlds apart. When you say, ‘not my business’, you’re scolding yourself. With, ‘let them’, you’re in the power position because you see what’s happening and are choosing to allow it without allowing it. You’re rising above it.” – Mel Robbins Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Demotivators - https://despair.com/collections/ Effin Birds on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/effinbirds/ Van Morrison - https://www.vanmorrison.com/ No Hard Feelings by the Avett Brothers - https://open.spotify.com/track/0bgQ1hQrpP6ScdBZlDfLE2 Foo Fighters - https://foofighters.com/ DePeche Mode - https://www.depechemode.com/ The Cure - https://www.thecure.com/ Taylor Swift - https://www.taylorswift.com/ The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins - https://amzn.to/427OHwu The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About by Mel Robbins - https://amzn.to/4hc53bE The Mel Robbins Podcast - https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast The Four Questions: For Henny Penny and Anybody with Stressful Thoughts by Byron Katie - https://amzn.to/3C7tKXT My Legacy Podcast - https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-my-legacy-podcast-255793246/ Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl - https://amzn.to/4ajbyaz Dr. Stuart Ablon - https://www.stuartablon.com/ The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson - https://amzn.to/3PCqxmi Guest’s Links: Website - https://www.melrobbins.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/melrobbins/ Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/melrobbins Twitter - https://x.com/melrobbins Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/melrobbins TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@melrobbins Podcast - https://www.melrobbins.com/podcast/ Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/ Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/ Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker The For the Love Podcast is presented by Audacy.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:31.1

Hey everybody. Welcome to the For the Love podcast. We are coming in scorching hot with an encore episode that is so practical, so tactical, so clarifying.

0:49.8

I guarantee you, it will save you at least a few hours of spiraling this week.

0:57.3

Right?

0:58.1

Interested?

0:59.5

Would anybody like a little bit less spiraling these days?

1:04.1

Hi, raise his hand.

1:05.1

So, today we are talking about control.

1:11.6

Yikes.

1:27.6

Specifically, all the places we keep trying to manage people, outcomes, opinions, and feelings that were never ours to manage in the first place.

1:31.0

Also known as codependency.

1:37.0

So before we jump in, we're doing what we do best, which is a little bit of nonsense, a little bit of culture, and then we're getting straight to the good stuff.

1:40.1

You are about to hear my conversation with Mel Robbins.

1:46.2

All around her newest work,

1:54.5

the let them theory, um, in the two words that have been living rent free in millions of heads since, which is let them. We're going to talk all about that. Um, so if you are exhausted, if you are

2:03.7

tired of carrying other people's reactions or trying to get the reactions to be what you want them to

2:09.3

be, if you are trying to, if you're tired of trying to fix what you cannot fix, if you are

2:15.3

tired of explaining away behavior that keeps hurting you, this is for you.

...

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