4.6 • 5.9K Ratings
🗓️ 3 November 2022
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
For the first time on the podcast, the Sugars answer a voice mail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you? This episode was originally released on April 21, 2018.
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0:00.0 | WVR podcasts, Boston. |
0:05.0 | Hi, this is Steve, just a quick word of warning. |
0:12.0 | We wanted to let you know that we'll be discussing intimate partner violence on this episode. |
0:18.0 | Hello, Steve Allen. |
0:20.0 | Hello, show screen. |
0:21.0 | Let's get my into it. |
0:23.0 | My story is I sell Madly in love with a young man and he felt madly in love for me. |
0:31.0 | We shared the same dream to bring them out of our small home town and travel to California. |
0:36.0 | And that's exactly what we did. |
0:38.0 | We helped them out cars and we drove across the country together with no real plans. |
0:44.0 | And it was amazing, except when it wasn't. |
0:49.0 | The more time we spent together was covered with these arguments and the arguments grew in intensity. |
0:56.0 | And while we both love each other very, very much, it seems that neither of us could figure out why our arguments were getting so bad. |
1:08.0 | After about a year, I'm California together, our arguments had reached a point where they were just straight up nasty. |
1:19.0 | And it got into the point where he struck me in my face three times. |
1:25.0 | And I experienced feelings of shame and guilt and you know the question of how could I have let myself be in a relationship or in a family relationship? |
1:37.0 | Or in a position where my lover has physically hit me. |
1:43.0 | So after that, we split up. |
1:46.0 | He's led five hours north and ended up getting checked in and out to the mental hospitals and in the next three and a half. |
1:53.0 | I'm coping with what happens. |
1:55.0 | I did great. |
1:57.0 | I kind of soared on. Got some good jobs. |
... |
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