Encore: Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do

Dear Sugars

WBUR

Boston, Wbur, Sugar, Cheryl Strayed, Society & Culture, Dear, Relationships, Advice, Steve Almond

4.6 • 5.9K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2021

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Women from across the country wrote in to the Dear Sugars inbox echoing identical inequalities in their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends. The Sugars commiserate with this aggrieved chorus, along with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.”

This episode was originally released on May 5, 2018.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Produced by the ILAB at WBUR Boston.
0:07.0	The universe has good news for the lost, lonely, and heart sick.
0:19.0	The sugars are here, speaking straight into your ears.
0:22.0	I'm Steve Olman.
0:23.0	I'm Cheryl Strait.
0:24.0	This is Dear Sugar's.
0:28.0	Oh dear song, won't you please?
0:35.0	Yes, I'm better sweet than as we be.
0:43.0	I check my bedbub every day.
0:51.0	Oh, and this sugar, you see in my way.
0:58.0	Dear sugars, I don't have a huge burning question, but I'd like to figure out how to get my
1:04.2	husband to understand emotional labor without sounding like I'm just complaining.
1:10.0	He has come a long way, but I'd love advice about how to get him to be more empathetic,
1:14.3	and to understand that being in charge of providing the food, clothes, doctors, medicines,
1:19.4	activities, and holidays are two children and our pets takes a toll.
1:24.4	When I complain of being mentally exhausted because of how much I do, my husband's typical
1:30.0	response is to tell me about all the work he does around the house.
1:33.4	I'm sad to say that we can form to gender roles when it comes to the division of labor,
1:38.6	much to my chagrin.
1:40.4	Perhaps an example would help.
1:42.4	This is my morning.
1:44.4	I get up at the same time as my children who are now 12 and 14, as I have done since they
	...

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