[encore] 955: Love Sits by My Father

The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily

American Public Media

Arts, Performing Arts

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 February 2024

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s poem is Love Sits by My Father by Qutouf Elobaid.

The Slowdown is your daily poetry ritual. This week, in honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re revisiting some of our favorite episodes on love. This episode was originally released on August 31, 2023.

In this episode, Major writes… “People in love are complicated; no one knows this more than the children, who get a front row seat to how affection plays itself out in the home, or not. Which influences how they interact and understand intimacy operating, or not, around them. Many psychological experts suggest making affection and tenderness appropriately visible in the lives of children. It goes far to ensure emotional stability. What children observe may drive them as adults to positively replicate their parent’s model, attempt to fulfill their parents' lack , or avoid intimacy altogether. A kiss, a hug, any physical expression of fondness is an active possibility of healing that radiates out into the world.”

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, what's up? Today's episode is one of our favorites from the Slowdown Archives.
0:06.0	We'll be back with new episodes on February 26. I'm Major Jackson and this is the slowdown.
0:16.8	I'm Major Jackson and this is the slowdown. I never saw my parents openly display affection for one another.
0:35.0	No smooching at holiday gatherings, not even a New Year's kiss.
0:40.0	No cuttling in front of the TV and definitely no nose rubbing before taking off to work.
0:47.0	I'm sure they intertwined fingers at some point and held hands, but never in front of family. It was like growing up in a house without plants or pets.
0:59.7	I know they loved each other, their sheer tolerance of the other's irritation at one thing or another,
1:06.4	and occasional arguments followed by joking banter were evidence enough.
1:12.0	Still, I found their seemingly loveless union inscrutable.
1:16.5	I think it explains why I rubberneck whenever I see a couple kiss on a park bench or at a table and a jazz club or like that time at the
1:26.8	Wahhachan archaeological site of Monte Alban.
1:31.0	In the center of the pyramids built by the zapotex, I witnessed a fashionable couple kissing for five minutes in the open air of the great plaza as tourists walked by them.
1:42.0	My parents' worst nightmare.
1:45.3	People in love are complicated.
1:47.7	No one knows this more than the children who get a front row seat
1:51.4	to how affection plays itself out in the home or not, which influences
1:56.8	how they interact and understand intimacy operating or not around them. Many psychological experts suggest
2:06.1	making affection and tenderness appropriately visible in the lives of children.
2:11.8	It goes far to ensure emotional stability.
2:16.0	What children observe may drive them as adults
2:19.0	to positively replicate their parents' model,
2:22.0	attempt to fulfill their parents' model,
	...

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