There was an article, opinion piece, in the New York Times. It was on New Year's Day,

and it caught our attention here at the show. The author of the piece, Adam Grant,

talked about how people thousands of miles away from the Middle East, say, in America,

are managing or attempting to manage their relationship to the horrific events that are happening in Israel and Gaza,

and how a lot of people are just kind of psychologically detaching.

That's their way of managing it.

They're just cutting themselves off.

Adam Grant says it comes down to what psychologists call empathic distress, hurting for others,

he says, while feeling unable to help. He says, quote, empathic distress explains why many people

have checked out in the wake of these tragedies. The small gestures they could make seem like an

exercise in futility. Giving to charity feels like like a drop in the ocean, posting on social media

is poking a hornet's nest, having concluded that nothing they do will make a difference,

they start to become indifferent, unquote. What helps, he says, is not empathy, not feeling all the

anguish of others. What helps is compassion, recognizing that others are suffering

and being present for them. Well, we'll try. It's depression mode. I'm John great idea. I also think it requires some

careful attention. Like if we're not going to become indifferent, if we are to be present,

that means our shields have to be down to some extent.

We're looking the world in the eye, and that can be a lot these days.

I've been thinking about how we, who are not in the Middle East, deal with the grief of that situation.

And I've been thinking about how we attempt to deal with the shared trauma and grief of the 1.17 million deaths from COVID in the United States. Big events. Maybe I should talk to someone about this.

So I called up Megan Devine, who knows a lot about grief and has tremendous insights on the subject.

Megan is a therapist in Los Angeles. She's the author of

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