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Welcome one and all in here, out there, around the world, to The Late Show.

I'm your host Stephen Colbert.

Ladies and gentlemen, my friends, Romans, countrymen.

In the ongoing lowering of our national limbo bar,

I got to say Donald Trump has proven himself surprisingly limber for a man with those cancels.

Because in just the last 24 hours alone, he's achieved two new lows.

First, you know how Donald Trump has always sued everyone and everything at all times everywhere?

Well, some of those claims were against the Department of Justice, who, during the Biden

administration and before, made the fatal mistake of doing their jobs.

And his claims, he got a bunch of claims.

Some of his claims are over investigations into his Russia ties and the seizure of hundreds of classified documents

from Marlau's highly secure guest bathroom.

Okay, he didn't like that.

He got really mad. So, okay. Now, of course, after he became president,

all the cases against him were dropped. But that's not enough.

The man wants his money. Don't make

him put his rings on. Specifically, Trump wants the DOJ to pay him $230 million, which from the sound

of this audience is obviously ridiculous, but since he won the election, technically as president,

he could now, in effect, order the government to pay him.

Well, that doesn't seem right.

...