Embracing the Messiness of Life: Finding Joy in Everyday Moments with Ross Gay

The One You Feed | Personal Growth, Emotional Resilience & Purpose

Eric Zimmer, The One You Feed

Buddhism, Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality

4.5 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2026

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, Ross Gay talks about embracing the messiness of life and finding joy in every day moments. He explores the complexities of joy, delight, and sorrow, emphasizing how attention and human connection shape a meaningful life. Ross also discusses the practice of noticing small moments, the interplay of joy and grief, and the importance of caring for others. The conversation also touches on societal challenges, the role of comedy, and the creative process, offering listeners thoughtful insights on living with compassion, devotion, and openness to everyday wonders. Take our quick 2-minute survey and help us improve your listening experience: ⁠⁠oneyoufeed.net/survey⁠⁠ Exciting News!!! Coming in March, 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Key Takeaways: Exploration of joy as a complex emotion intertwined with sorrow and human connection. Discussion of the importance of attention and devotion in cultivating joy and meaning in life. The relationship between joy and societal challenges, including systemic injustice and hardship. The concept of "feeding the good wolf" and focusing on what we love rather than negativity. The significance of small moments of beauty and connection in the face of suffering. The role of poetry and writing in enhancing attention and understanding of joy and delight. The idea of joy as a precursor to solidarity and collective care. Reflections on personal experiences of loss and the search for meaning in grief. The impact of societal machinery on human connection and daily acts of care. The process of writing as a means of self-discovery and understanding one's relationships and emotions. For full show notes: click here! If you enjoyed this conversation with Ross Gay, check out these other episodes: How to Feel Lighter with Yung Pueblo How to Turn Life’s Pain into a Path of Meaning and Joy with Danielle LaPorte Finding Hope When Life Isn’t Okay and the Power of Micro Joys with Cyndie Spiegel By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you! This episode is sponsored by: ⁠⁠⁠⁠David Protein ⁠⁠⁠⁠Try David is offering our listeners a special deal: buy 4 cartons and get the 5th free when you go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠davidprotein.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Hungry Root⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.hungryroot.com/feed ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and use promo code: FEED. IQ Bar: Text FEED to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus FREE shipping. (Message and data rates may apply). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Joy is that thing that we enter when we practice our entanglement, when we actually submit
0:05.7	to and practice being entangled with one another, which we are, and we can fight it.
0:12.3	And when we fight it, that seems to lead to misery.
0:15.7	But when we practice it, maybe that is joy.
0:28.0	Welcome to the one you feed.
0:32.7	Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have.
0:40.1	Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. And yet, for many of us,
0:46.2	our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back
0:52.1	and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking.
0:56.1	Our actions matter.
0:57.5	It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living.
1:02.3	This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.
1:10.7	There are moments in life when things don't get better. They just get more honest.
1:16.6	Loss shows up. Grief stays longer than we expect, and the old advice about thinking positive
1:22.6	stops being very useful. I've noticed something about these hardest seasons of life. Big solutions
1:29.2	usually don't work, but small moments still do. My guest today, Roskei, writes directly into
1:36.4	that space. His work isn't about bypassing pain or pretending joy is always available. It's about
1:43.0	learning to notice small moments of beauty,
1:46.2	relief, and connection that exist alongside everything that hurts. In this conversation, we talk
1:53.2	about what it means to hold joy and sorrow at the same time, why attention itself can be
1:59.5	a practice of care and how noticing what's already here
2:03.4	might be the most humane response to a hard world. I'm Eric Zimmer and this is the one you feed.
	...

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