Welcome to the Emancipate Your Mind podcast.

I'm your host, certified religious transition and trauma recovery coach, Terry Hales.

I help people step out of the shadows of religious fear and shame and embrace their

authentic selves with love and empathy.

If you're ready to throw off the shackles of learned binary thinking and explore

a more nuanced approach to life, this is your playground.

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Emancipate Your Mind podcast. Today we are finishing up our segment on attachment styles and high demand religion. We've gotten to explore secure attachment, anxious attachment, which is, you know, that desire to be in a relationship with someone because we don't feel safe or secure by

ourselves. We feel more calm when we're in relationship with other people. And we kind of enjoy

that process of, you know, pleasing or pouring ourselves into someone else. It gives us a sense of

identity when we meld a little bit with someone else. It gives us a sense of identity when we meld a little bit

with someone else. We also got to talk about avoidant attachment. These are the people that

like to rely on themselves solely for the things that they need and they enjoy other people,

but they don't allow themselves to really rely on other people that

feels really scary for them. And today we're talking about disorganized attachment, which can

feel really, really kind of confusing because it's a mixture of both that anxious attachment style

that wants that closeness and connection and support, but also that avoidant style that wants that closeness and connection and support,

but also that avoidant style that fears that deep intimacy and feels the need to

distance themselves from it at the same time.

And so as you can imagine, the reason it's called disorganized attachment is because

those two things feel like they're at war with each other inside of ourselves, this need for closeness, this need for connection, and also this fierce need for independence and not to have to rely on someone.

And so we kind of go back and forth between, I want to be close, no, I don't want to be close.

And it can feel really chaotic inside of ourselves and for the people we're in relationship with.

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