Elliott Connie: Changing The Quality Of Your Questions Affects The Quality Your Future
The Mark Divine Show
Mark Divine
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 12 August 2025
⏱️ 70 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Join Mark Divine as he sits down with Elliott Connie, internationally recognized as the "Friend of Solutions" and co-author of "Change Your Questions, Change Your Future." In this powerful episode, Elliott shares his journey from a turbulent childhood to becoming a leading psychotherapist and trainer, and reveals how asking better questions can transform your life, career, and sense of purpose.
Discover the mindset shifts and daily practices that helped Mark become a Navy SEAL and Elliott to find meaning and resilience.
Whether you're feeling stuck, seeking more fulfillment, or want to lead with courage and clarity, this conversation is packed with actionable wisdom.
Key Takeaways:
•The power of intentional questions
•Overcoming limiting beliefs and societal expectations
•Building resilience through micro-goals and positive self-talk
•Redefining success and happiness
•Applying solution-focused thinking in everyday life
Subscribe for more inspiring conversations on leadership, growth, and living with purpose!
Elliott's Links:
Website: https://elliottconnie.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elliottspeaks/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elliott-connie-852b787/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elliottspeaks
Mark's Links:
Website: https://markdivine.com/coaching
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markdivine/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markdivineofficial
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/markdivineofficial/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@markdivineleadership/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@markdivineofficial/
Subscribe to https://www.youtube.com/@markdivineofficial for more inspiring conversations on leadership, growth, and impact.
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Share your thoughts and takeaways in the comments!
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Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction: The Power of Asking Better Questions
03:45 Early hardships, family dynamics, and the search for peace
10:52 Redefining happiness and success
17:26 Breaking free from societal expectations and finding purpose
22:01 The importance of asking "Who am I?" and "Who am I not?"
27:11 Mindset, micro-goals, and building resilience (Navy SEAL lessons)
34:01 The four skills for overcoming adversity
38:00 Applying solution-focused thinking to daily life
43:00 Navigating change, identity, and life transitions
50:00 The role of service, adaptability, and redefining riches
55:00 About Elliott’s book: "Change Your Questions, Change Your Future"
58:00 How to stay optimistic and agile in a changing world
1:05:00 Closing thoughts, resources, and where to find more
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Asking better questions is one of the hardest things ever because you have to now start making really hard choices. |
| 0:05.7 | You have to question some cherished beliefs. |
| 0:08.0 | Absolutely. |
| 0:08.6 | When you spend time as 21-year-old Mark meditating and you separate from the person and the thoughts and all that chaos. |
| 0:15.4 | And you say to yourself, who am I? |
| 0:17.8 | Who am I really? |
| 0:18.6 | Looking at these thoughts. |
| 0:19.5 | Who am I really? |
| 0:20.7 | I remember thinking this is the life that people are trying to make me have, and I don't want this. Your mind gets to determine your reality. If you change your thoughts structures, it changes your beliefs, change your perceptions, which change your reality. And it changes your ability to achieve. The first Navy sale I ever met, he said, I thought about quitting every minute, every day. Interesting. And I said to him, |
| 0:38.2 | so how did you not? You're constantly cold, you're constantly tired, you're constantly in pain. |
| 0:42.8 | Everybody's frame of reference and language is different. I thought about how do I get this |
| 0:47.4 | accomplished? Any negative thinking weakens your body. You have to embrace this suck. I got so comfortable |
| 0:52.3 | in darkness that I lost my fear of it. I didn't build |
| 0:55.0 | that overnight. It just started with. Let's do this. Welcome to the Mark Devine show. I am your host. |
| 1:01.8 | Mark Devine. Imagine that. So if you're a leader ready to grow and push your limits and lead with |
| 1:06.5 | purpose and passion, then guess what? You come to the right place. This show is dedicated to helping you lead with courage, resilience, and deeper awareness. |
| 1:15.0 | I am super stoked to have Elliott, Connie, here with me today, internationally recognized |
| 1:19.8 | as the Friend of Solutions. |
| 1:22.3 | That's cool. |
| 1:24.1 | Elias's based in Keller, Texas, and has guided thousands of individuals, couples, and families |
| 1:28.6 | to meaningful change through what he calls a solution-focused approach. |
| 1:33.4 | He's a co-founder and director of the Solution Focus University, a global online platform |
... |
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