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Here's your success mentor, Darren Hardy.

One of the things that we were taught as children is to say, thank you if someone did something for you and to say, I'm sorry if we made a mistake or wrong someone.

So, why then do we have so many poorly trained adults? Why do so many adults find it hard to say,

I'm sorry, or even thank you enough? Well, a new paper from Carnegie Mellon University, a paper

sent to me by HPF alumni Sean Shodry done by his sister,

thank you, Sean, and Shereen, the paper introduces a framework to explain what is called the

responsibility exchange theory. It is used to explain why thanking and apologizing as well as

bragging and blaming matter so much and why we have such a hard time exchanging the right words

at the right time. Here's the conundrum. While thank you and I'm sorry makes the speaker appear

caring or generous, and I'd add not raised in a barn by barbarians, they fear it is at the cost

of seeming incompetent or weak.

Then there is the opposite falsely held belief, that bragging and blaming bolsters the speaker's

perceived competence and status, but at the cost of seeming selfish or inconsiderate, and I'd

add, douchey. It costs nothing to say thank you, and I'm sorry.

Actually, it costs nothing. But to the emotionally unintelligent ego, it costs you everything.

You see, the ego is in constant collection and hoarding mode of what's called ego chips. It tries to collect and hoard chips like

Imelda Marcos collected and hoarded shoes. Saying thank you or I'm sorry is like having to hand

over a chip or in Amelda's case a pair of shoes. To the ego, social exchanges are a zero-sum game, win, lose, which is also why the egomaniac is also so hell-bent on bragging and also assigning blame.

Bragging is their childish and full-hearty attempt at trying to collect ego chips from you and your attention.

And if there is a wrongdoing oh they are quick to

finger point so that you don't come after their chip pile you see how infantile

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