Elissa Felder & Sonia Hoffman: How the Jewish Burial Society Cares for the Dead [Loss 2/3]

18Forty Podcast

18Forty

Religion & Spirituality, Judaism

4.6 • 638 Ratings

🗓️ 22 July 2025

⏱️ 112 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to author Elissa Felder and her daughter Sonia Hoffman—both of whom have experienced the loss of a child and serve on a chevra kadisha—about what the Jewish burial society teaches us about confronting death. In this episode we discuss:

How does the process of purifying a dead body work—and how is it possible to purify a dead body at all?
What Kabbalistic practices are performed by chevra kadisha to bring dignity to the body and soul?
How can we “normalize” discussions about grief and death?

Tune in to hear a conversation about how care for the deceased is a “love story” between the Jewish People and God.

Interview begins at 15:31.

Elissa Felder started and actively manages Core’s community of practice for women who serve on a traditional chevrah kadisha. The knowledge she acquired through her work motivated her to write From One Life to the Next Life; The Sacred Passage after Death, a memoir about the loss of her baby son. She is the head of her local chevrah kadisha and speaks widely on this topic.

Sonia Hoffman is a Limmudei Kodesh teacher at Kohelet Yeshiva in Philadelphia. She is a daughter, mother, wife and member of the Bala Cynwyd community. She is also an active member of the Philadelphia Chevra Kadisha, having started during COVID to help with this mitzvah. After the loss of their daughter in 2016, she began speaking about her experience with loss and sharing resources with the community on ways in which we can move forward after tragedy. In addition, Sonia began hosting an annual event in her daughter's memory to bring awareness to the community around the topic of infant loss and relationship with God.

References:

Teshuvot HaRadbaz Volume 3, 985

Torat HaAdam, Introduction

“Passing Through” by David Bashevkin

Berakhot 10a

“Reconciling Opposites: Uncommon Connections in the Halakha of Mourning” by Emanuel Feldman

From One Life to the Next Life; The Sacred Passage after Death by Elissa Felder

The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller

The Choice: Embrace the Possible by Dr. Edith Eva Eger

Consolation: The Spiritual Journey Beyond Grief by Maurice Lamm

Gesher Hachaim - The Bridge of Life by Rabbi Yechiel Michel Tucazinsky

Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner's Theology of Meaning by Alon Shalev

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi friends, and welcome to the 1840 podcast where each month we explore different topic balancing modern sensibilities with traditional sensitivities to give you new approaches to timeless Jewish ideas.
0:19.7	I'm your host, David Bischofkin,
0:21.5	and this month we're continuing our exploration of loss.
0:25.8	This podcast is part of a larger exploration
0:28.2	of those big, juicy, Jewish ideas.
0:31.4	So be sure to check out 1840.org.
0:34.1	That's 1-8-F-O-R-T-Y.org,
0:36.3	where you can also find videos, articles, recommended readings, and weekly emails.
0:42.0	One of the greatest rabbis in Jewish history was somebody named Rabbi David Ben Shlomo Ibn Zimra, who is known by the acronym, the Radvaz, lived at the end of the 15th century from 1479 to 1573, had a really fascinating life, and had thousands of responsea.
1:06.0	Response were questions that were sent to him from throughout the world. And he answered them.
1:11.4	He amassed thousands, and we have so many fascinating questions that were sent to him about
1:16.1	different issues that came up in that time.
1:18.7	Most famously, I don't know, most famously, he was very famous, he was involved in the lost
1:23.2	tribes, and there's a really interesting response to that emerge.
1:27.0	And there's one, I think,
1:29.0	serves as the perfect introduction for our conversation today. And that is, he has a question
1:35.6	that appears in the third volume. It is response number 985, really wrote thousands of responses. I think I got that right. I think it's
1:46.8	985 and was asked the following question. She'ela, it's a question. Al-Echad Megadoli
1:54.3	Hador, one of the great leaders of the generation, of the Jewish community. So one of the great
1:59.5	leaders of this time does not specify who.
2:02.8	Shemais Loban lost a child.
2:06.0	Velo horrid al-Dimma.
	...

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