Hi, friends. It is November 7th.

Until this moment, I didn't think I was going to release anything on the podcast today.

I haven't said anything on social media. I've barely spoken to anyone. The people that I have seen around where I live,

I've mostly avoided eye contact with. And while in my email newsletter at the beginning of the

week, I said, I know it's going to be an emotional week. And as I said that to people in person,

it's going to be an emotional week. I was mostly met with, oh, no, it'll be okay. To which deep down,

I knew it wouldn't be. I didn't know what that meant.

I didn't actually think it was going to mean what it did mean,

but I knew it was going to be a hard week regardless.

And right now in this moment, about 40 minutes before I go to pick my daughter up from school.

Having had a very hard day of trying to make sense of what I do for the second day in a row.

I know many of you listening to this are hurting too.

And I wanted to put something out there,

but also I wanted to put something out there to say,

it's okay if you're not okay.

I'm not okay. When my six-year-old daughter says to me,

it's okay, mommy. And I shed more tears when she says that, knowing that she, I'm causing her pain in seeing the pain

that I'm feeling. But I have to let her see and I have to tell her that it's okay to be sad.

It's okay to be down. It's okay to be devastated or angry. It's okay to be feeling all of the

negative emotions and flipping between them.

That's definitely how I feel and I want my girls to both be able to feel the same way.

I want when she asks me, why can't they let girls have, be in charge just once?

...