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Welcome to Ambridge on the couch.

An in-depth look at the archers with me, Harriet Carmichael, Lucy Freeman, Jeff Thomas, Matt Rodriguez-Pain and James Everett.

Now, before we make a start on your emails, let's have a recap of what happened this week in Ambridge.

This week was brought to you by litter, bins and rubbish.

It was one of those weeks when every time anyone else was on, apart from Emma or George, I was saying, yes, yes, get out of the way and metaphorically peering around people to see what was happening behind them. We began the week at the cricket with Justin, who appeared to have catapulted himself right into the middle of village life. He was bustling about, giving advice, knowing all the village

gossip. I'd have thought he'd have spent his Sundays going through the F.T. drawing loser signs

on the foreheads of anyone making less money than him. Fallon helpfully told Ed that 40 was

4.0, just in case Ed wasn't aware. Ed was doing a surprise party. Unfortunate choice,

really, as Emma had frankly had enough surprises over the last week.

Flushed with her apparent success at the hen party, which we never heard a word about, annoyingly.

Fallon has gone completely mad and was doing sausage rolls, a cake, and rather unusually forcing Ed to dress up as a film character.

Ed suggested the shining, so I had hopes of him

coming peddling through the doors in a dress on a little tricycle, but no, annoyingly, he picked

Saturday night fever. Fallon then went completely power-crazed with the choreography and started

shouting, shake your body, shake it! While laughing maniacally. Will has suggested George should run the under 60s junior team.

Just what they need.

The under 16s, a depressed thug about to perjure himself.

But no, at the last minute, harassment took it on instead,

...