E443 That Lord Portal

This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von

Theo Von

Comedy

4.8 • 24.2K Ratings

🗓️ 9 May 2023

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Theo returns with a solo episode of This Past Weekend to talk about the time he visited an Asian church, testing out carnival rides as a kid, how he’d do a gender reveal, what makes Moms so special, and more. He also reflects on the biggest show of his career, and responds to some of your voicemails and video calls. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Morgan & Morgan: If you’re ever injured, visit https://forthepeople.com/thispastweekend or dial Pound LAW (#529). Their fee is free unless they win. BetterHelp: Visit https://betterhelp.com/theo today to get 10% off your first month. Find more balance, with BetterHelp. Manscaped: Visit https://manscaped.com and get 20% off + free shipping with code THEO. Trim your chesticles with the besticles. ShadyRays: Visit https://shadyrays.com and use code THEO for 50% off 2 or more pairs of polarized sunglasses. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek&ab_channel=BishopGunn Music: "The Devil, God and Me" by Evan Bartels: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZa3Egu9xTQ ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [email protected] Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner

Transcript

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0:00.0	We've got some new merch items to tell you about the be good to yourself crew neck and
0:04.5	teal. It's frosty. We got the new hoodie and bitter suite. Plus we've got the root beer t-shirts
0:12.9	from the root beer cartoon. All that and more at TheoVonStore.com.
0:21.3	Oh baby. Oh dang. Look at the baby.
0:29.2	It's so tiny. It's so tiny.
0:37.1	God, I remember that song. Remember that from church.
0:40.6	Oh look at the baby. It's so tiny. It's so tiny.
0:51.5	Dude, on one time I went over to this. I don't know if it was Japanese or Chinese.
0:58.5	Or it was some knees. That's all I'm gonna say. It was some knees. It was Asian.
1:06.9	There was, you know what I'm saying? You could damn, you could throw a pot of rice in this church
1:14.2	and hit an Asian. They probably had unlimited Asians in there. You know, it looked like a,
1:22.4	it looked like a, it looked like a kind of an Asian-y, Asian-y, Asian thing. Spot place.
1:38.8	Asian. It was Asian in there and I remember the first time I'd ever heard a batch of Asians
1:48.6	like that sing a church hymn. You know, I think they were, I don't know if they were first generation
1:58.1	or not. I'm not sure what generation they were. They were, some of them had the, the beat, you know,
2:05.4	the little, some Asian people though, if they get real old, they get that catfish hair coming out
2:10.8	of them. I mean, you could get, you know, you put a damn worm in front of one of them. No damn,
2:17.1	you know, they'll jump right out their damn kimona. They'll jump right out their damn church pajamas.
2:24.2	You know what I'm saying? They don't, you put a spinner bait or something. You throw a chicken
2:28.6	liver in front of a, you know, you got them catfish Asians, baby, they'll lurch. They'll lurch.
2:35.9	They got that, you know, they got that last bit of karate left in them and they'll, you know,
2:42.9	because it, you know, a lot of humans as they get older, they cross with an animal at a certain point.
	...

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