How are you peeling? Because it’s time for episode 38, in which Em throws Allison an epic birthday, the recording room is haunted as ever, and we find out Christine is the oracle of our time. Don’t worry, there are also ghosts and murders. Em’s story is San Antonio, TX. Wait, no it’s not. But it is IN San Antonio, TX. It’s called the Menger Hotel and it’s haunted by a rude lady knitting, children playing with trains, and Teddy Roosevelt himself. Meanwhile, Christine tells the story of this mo-fo named John List, a guy who pretends to be deeply religious but is actually just a plain old family annihilator. We cleanse our palates with a Gio-scope, brought to you this week by the Onion (and our good friend Theron). Let’s Scorpi-Go! Oh and Ernesto, if you’re out there, let me buy you a drink.