E362 | MOST SHARED E299: How to Quit Being a People Pleaser

The Art Of Coaching

Brett Bartholomew

Health & Fitness, Business, Education

5 • 642 Ratings

🗓️ 27 January 2025

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week, we’re revisiting one of our most popular episodes, and a topic people continue to ask us about. People pleasing. We’ve all seen it before (whether we recognized it or not) - constantly being agreeable, always saying yes, never setting any boundaries - all to the point of self-destruction. If you haven’t experienced it yourself, it’s likely you’ve witnessed someone else demonstrate these behaviors. And although it may have short-term benefits, we know that these self-destructive tendencies are not sustainable, and can lead to mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion and burnout. If this is something you think you might struggle with, or if you know someone who does, today’s episode provides a wide variety of perspectives on what “people pleasing” can look like in the day to day world, a number of root causes, and a handful of different solutions you can use to help you manage these behaviors. More specifically, Brett dives into: Quotes that hit - some of the most impactful sound bites I’ve heard on the topic What drives you? How our drives can lead us into unhealthy people pleasing behaviors The downside to many of the mainstream self-help resources that address the topic The necessary self-reflection that has to take place before we can make long-lasting behavioral changes Host your own AOC Inservice - Tackle leadership challenges with tailored workshops trusted by Apple, NFL teams, and Canadian Special Forces. Gain actionable tools for managing emotions, de-escalating tension, and rebuilding culture. Email us at [email protected] to learn more, and visit artofcoaching.com to see how we can help. AOC Private Mentoring Retreat - Join us in Phoenix for a two-day retreat focused on resetting and crushing your goals. With custom coaching, private suites, and access to exclusive facilities, this experience is built for you. Email [email protected] to secure your spot! Improv Only Workshop - Boost problem-solving, creativity, and teamwork through fun, interactive improv games. Trusted by Google and pro sports teams, this workshop delivers skills that stick. Email [email protected] with "Improv Only Workshop" in the subject line. Referenced Resources: E210: Assertiveness: How To Ask For What You Want & Get What You Need E207: How Perception Impacts Communication & Relationships E208: Robert Greene: Mastering Human Nature and Facing Your Flaws E200: What To Do When Trying To Help Makes Stuff Worse E176: When Positive Thinking Doesn’t Work E22: The Value of Self-Doubt E130: How Understanding Drives Helps Build Buy-In Quiz: What Drives You? Online Course: Valued - mentioned in today’s episode regarding opportunity cost, this life-time access course help you to identify your values and take control of your career Follow Us: Website: ArtofCoaching.com Instagram: @coach_brettb X: @coach_brettb

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you're somebody that's a leader, you should never want to miss an opportunity to gain
0:15.6	more perspective and refine your approaches to navigating conflict.
0:19.8	We've all been in situations where we feel like there's got to be a better way to handle
0:23.9	this. This is exactly why we help organizations of all kinds with conflict resolution via the
0:30.0	end services we do.
0:31.8	Whether you want to work on your organization or team's culture, whether you have internal
0:36.0	team dynamics where people aren't getting along, or you just need to work on training
0:40.2	your staff to be better at dealing with leadership situations under fire. Our training and end services give you and your staff the tools that you need to manage
0:48.7	your emotions, de-escalate tension, refine and rebuild your culture, and communicate more
0:55.0	effectively.
0:56.2	We are not raw raw people, we do not believe in cookie cutter solutions.
1:00.7	Every one of our end services, which we've done with teams in the NFL, Major League Soccer,
1:05.4	companies like Apple and Microsoft, the Canadian Special Forces, every in-services tailored
1:11.3	to your unique challenges.
1:13.8	And everything is focused on real-world application.
1:17.4	There's no abstract theories.
1:20.1	Strategies you and your team can put into practice immediately.
1:23.4	So if you, your organization, your team,
1:25.0	whatever word you want to use,
1:27.0	wants to improve how they handle conflict,
1:29.0	how they navigate cultural issues,
1:31.0	and ultimately just wants to quit wasting time
	...

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