E319: Stop Chasing Chemistry: How To Find A Godly Spouse w/JP Pokluda | Lila Rose Show

The Lila Rose Show

Lila Rose

Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 19 May 2026

⏱️ 87 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

JP Pokluda lived the life of "drugs, sex, and hip hop" until a radical conversion changed everything. Now he is on a crusade to redeem dating, relationships, and marriage across the country. Today, we discuss his advice for virtuous dating and delve into no shortage of hot takes along the way.

JP's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jpokluda/

JP's website: https://www.jonathanpokluda.com/

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00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:01 - Too many options in dating

00:03:07 - FOBO and FOMO

00:05:27 - Attraction vs Godliness

00:06:59 - "I only date losers"

00:11:53 - What should Godly dating look like?

00:21:10 - A framework for Christian dating

00:23:59 - Simplest definition of purity

00:26:42 - What about when a person just feels…off?

00:32:59 - Are men wired for one woman?

00:39:30 - How to get married this year?

00:42:21 - What if you just don’t have chemistry?

00:49:17 - What is modesty?

00:54:16 - Should people take time off from dating?

00:57:25 - Is p*rn use a disqualifier?

00:59:25 - How JP got free from porn

01:04:21 - Hot takes and priority of the heart

01:10:18 - What should the first date be?

01:14:22 - How should engagement go?

01:16:00 - Physical boundaries

01:17:35 - Can women express interest?

01:20:50 - Lila’s younger sister

01:22:08 - One piece of advice?

Transcript

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0:00.0	As we think we get better at dating, we get worse at marriage. Dating and the way that we're doing it, it's really conditioning our heart for divorce. You can tell a lot of a person's heart based on what comes out of the mouth. When you stand before God and you make that commitment, there are going to be days you don't feel like keeping that commitment. Those feelings are going to change. Do you think that any Christian man can make it work with any Christian woman? Such a hot take. Here's, I'll prove it.
0:23.2	Any.
0:23.6	I'll prove it.
0:24.3	How would you advise? feelings are going to change. Do you think that any Christian man can make it work with any Christian woman?
0:21.2	Such a hot take. Here's, I'll prove it. Any. I'll prove it. How would you advise knowing when you're
0:26.2	ready to date? Do you think that somebody should date if they are actively struggling with pornography?
0:31.8	That's my message to people as I want you to know is like you don't have to be addicted for the
0:36.7	rest of your life. Like healing is possible. Do you think the woman should signal interests? And if so, how should she do that? Nobody stands before Holy God and says, why did you keep me single? Why did you not let me have sex? That's the conversation that's never happened in heaven. J.P. Placuda, welcome to the podcast.
0:55.3	Thanks for having me on.
0:56.1	I'm so glad this has worked out.
0:57.7	Yeah, God is so kind to give us this time and space for a conversation.
1:01.2	One of the areas that I see a lot of beautiful, just wisdom emanating from you is on
1:07.8	relationships, dating, God's mission for marriage. Today, the average person has access
1:15.2	to more dating opportunities in some ways through apps, the internet, social media.
1:21.3	There's endless options that we are given as younger people and even older people who are single.
1:26.9	But it seems for people today that the choice, with endless choices,
1:32.0	it's harder than ever to find a spouse.
1:34.4	And objectively, the marriage rates have declined.
1:38.7	That's right.
1:39.1	Now there's fewer people getting married before 30 than I think ever before in Western history.
1:46.2	That's right.
1:47.2	More unmarried alive than married.
	...

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