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Pillow Talks

E263: How to Have More Fun in Your Relationship

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.82.6K Ratings

🗓️ 4 June 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When was the last time you and your partner did something purely for fun? Not productive, not logistical, not about the kids, just fun. If you had to think about it for a beat, you're not alone. Most long-term couples slowly drift from enjoying each other to managing life together, and fun is usually the first thing to quietly disappear. In this episode, we're talking about why couples lose the fun, why it matters way more than most people realize, and 5 surprisingly simple ways to bring it back. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: Why fun is one of the most underrated forms of intimacy (and how it actually builds resilience, attraction, and friendship) The IG poll results that show just how universal this is. Only 21% of our community said they have a lot of fun in their relationship The most common things that get in the way of fun, from kids and money stress to "we honestly just forget" The reframe that helps you find more time for fun. If you've been feeling more like roommates than romantic partners lately, this episode is a gentle reminder that it’s possible to bring back the fun. 🕯️ Want more fun, connection, and intimacy in your relationship every single month? The Spark is our $9/month subscription designed to keep playfulness, curiosity, and closeness alive in your relationship. Fresh prompts, date ideas, and conversation starters delivered monthly Designed for real couples with real lives, not just the honeymoon phase Easy to fit in, impossible to ignore Only $9/month, less than a latte and way better for your relationship 👉🏻 Check out The Spark here: https://buy.vmtherapy.com/the-spark?utm_term=podcast 🔗 Links & Resources Sex Talks (our book) → https://sextalksbook.com The Ultimate Foreplay Guides → https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay Ultimate Sex Positions → https://vmtherapy.com/ultimatesex 💛 Stay Connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email, real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! ========================== THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ========================== 👏Thanks StoryWorth. This year, give Dad a gift that captures who he really is, before the stories get harder to remember. Father's day is Sunday, June21st. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20. ➡︎https://storyworth.com/pillow 👏Thanks Quince. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Free Shipping on your order and 365-day returns. ➡︎https://quince.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. This spring, give yourself the kind of comfort that lives with you all day — not just the moment you get home. Use code PILLOW for an exclusive 20% off. If you get a Post-Purchase Survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here!➡︎https://cozyearth.com 👏Thanks Blissy. Because you’re a listener, Blissy is offering 60-nights risk-free PLUS use code PILLOWPOD to get an additional 30% off. Your skin and hair will thank you!➡︎https://blissy.com/PILLOWPOD Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I think silliness makes life so much more enjoyable.

0:03.8

Like, that's really some of the most fun times that I have with you and we're just being...

0:07.9

Absolutely.

0:08.8

If you're having a moment where you're like, if anybody else saw what we are doing and saying together right now, I'd be so embarrassed.

0:16.6

Like, those are peak moments for me.

0:24.6

Yeah. Like, those are peak moments for me. Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.

0:27.6

We're your host, Vanessa.

0:29.6

And Zander Marin.

0:30.6

I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.

0:33.6

And I'm just a regular dude.

0:35.6

We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.

0:41.3

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice,

0:47.8

hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more.

0:54.1

It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

0:58.6

Today, we are talking about something that does not get enough attention in relationships.

1:05.3

The fact that you start 90% of our episodes with the word today.

1:10.2

You tried coming up with a fresh intro every single time.

1:13.5

Let's make you dance.

1:14.9

Let's talk about something that we don't talk about very often in relationships.

1:19.2

This is something that has changed our relationship for the better.

1:23.4

No, no, no.

1:23.8

Look at that intro.

...

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