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Pillow Talks

E261: ED, PE & Everything In Between: Your Performance Problems Solved (Part 2)

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 β€’ 2.6K Ratings

πŸ—“οΈ 21 May 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The response to our first episode on penis performance problems was so big that we knew we had to come back for round two. In this episode, we're getting into the practical stuff: what to do in the moment when things aren't going as planned, how to keep your sex life feeling connected and fun even when performance issues are in the mix, and how both partners can show up for each other without making everything weird. πŸ’› In this episode, you'll hear: Whether you need to tell your wife you're taking ED meds How to get out of your head before sex when PE anxiety is already spiraling Practical tricks for lasting longer β€” specific, usable techniques that actually help How to bring spontaneity back when Viagra has a 30-minute waiting period β€” because yes, this is fixable How to bring up a performance issue with a partner who doesn't seem to notice it β€” the conversation you've been avoiding, made easier What to do when he loses his erection mid-sex When it's time to bring in a doctor β€” because sometimes the answer really is medical If you or your partner have ever felt alone in navigating this stuff, this episode is proof that you're not. πŸ”— LINKS & RESOURCES We've put together a guide that goes even deeper into everything we talked about today. The Modern Man's Guide to Conquering Performance Pressure is a step-by-step resource built from Vanessa's years of sex therapy practice β€” real tools, real techniques, zero fluff. Strategies for erectile difficulties, early ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation Exercises you can use on your own and in the moment with a partner A whole chapter for partners β€” because this is a team sport Practical and shame-free from start to finish πŸ‘‰πŸ» Check out The Modern Man's Guide here: vmtherapy.com/modernman πŸ’› STAY CONNECTED πŸ“Έ Follow us on Instagram β†’ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander πŸ’Œ Get our weekly email β€” real talk, expert tips, and zero shame β†’ https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts! If you're enjoying Pillow Talks, subscribing and leaving a review makes a huge difference β€” it helps more people find the show and actually improve their sex lives. We appreciate every single one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Waiting to take Viagra has killed the spontaneity in our sex life.

0:04.5

How do we get that back?

0:06.3

How do I bring it up to my partner that I think he may have a penis performance issue,

0:11.1

but he doesn't seem to recognize it?

0:13.7

What do I do if he loses his erection in the middle of sex?

0:19.3

What would you want me to do if you lose your erection?

0:28.0

Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.

0:31.5

We're your host, Vanessa.

0:32.9

And Zander Marin.

0:34.1

I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.

0:37.1

And I'm just a regular dude.

0:38.3

We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques

0:42.3

for improving yours.

0:44.3

Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips,

0:48.3

practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and

0:55.8

so much more.

0:57.2

It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

1:01.5

Today we are talking about penis problems.

1:05.4

Again, we did an episode about this a while back, and we put a call out to Instagram for all of your penis performance issues, penis performance problems.

1:16.8

PPPs.

1:18.2

And we got so many questions.

1:21.3

It became pretty clear, pretty quickly that we needed to do a part two episode as well.

...

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