E220: A Partner’s Guide To The Female Orgasm

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 7 August 2025

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The female orgasm: we’ve talked about it a lot over the years, but it never stops being one of the most requested, most misunderstood, and most fascinating topics we cover. In this episode, we’re flipping the script and looking at orgasm through a partner’s eyes. What does it mean to be supportive? How can you tell if she’s actually orgasming? And why is it so inconsistent? We’re answering your most Googled questions, plus the ones you’ve been too embarrassed to type into a search bar. Here’s what we’re getting into: Why women fake orgasms (and what to do about it) What to say if your partner has never had one before How to know if she’s really having an orgasm The truth about female performance anxiety Which positions are best for helping her O How to help her experience multiple orgasms G-spot orgasms and squirting: can you make them happen? What to do while she’s orgasming (hint: don’t freeze!) How to make it last longer + aftercare 🎓 Check out Finishing School™ 💦 And if you haven’t heard, we’re also celebrating the 10-year anniversary of Finishing School! It’s our proven, step-by-step course that helps women finally experience reliable, pleasurable orgasms. Whether you’ve never had one or you want to deepen your pleasure even more, this course will meet you exactly where you are. Here’s what’s inside: A full, technique-driven curriculum to teach you how to have as many orgasms as you want, whenever you want The Pleasure Bundle: Ultimate Foreplay Guides + Ultimate Sex Guide 3 months unlimited access to Vanessa AI 2 LIVE Support Track Coaching Calls with us! Lifetime access to go at your own pace And a 30-day, pleasure-guaranteed, money-back promise 💛 It’s personal for me (Vanessa). I struggled with orgasm for years (even as a sex therapist) and this course is everything I wish I’d had. 👉🏻 Go to https://vmtherapy.com/orgasm to discover just how good it can get. 👉🏻 Access The Truth About Female Orgasm Replay https://free.vmtherapy.com/truth 🎧 Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram ➡️ https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns. Sign up here 👉🏻 vmtherapy.com/subscribe 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ⏰ Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro 04:00 – Why do women fake it? 12:50 – How to be a supportive partner 25:38 – Can I tell if she's orgasming? 26:25 – Do some women not need to finish? 31:45 – Can women have performance anxiety about orgasms? 33:06 – Best positions for female pleasure 38:27 – Why are female orgasms inconsistent? 42:56 – How do I get my wife to have more than one 0? 46:42 – G-spot orgasms and squirting 47:58 – What am I supposed to do while she’s coming? 49:33 – How to make your partner’s 0 last longer ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Quince. Free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. ➡︎ https://quince.com/pillow 👏 Thanks Chewy. Save $20 on your first order with free shipping.➡︎ https://chewy.com/pillows 👏Thank you Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for LIFE. ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thank you Audible Romance. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial. ➡︎ https://audible.com/pillow Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	the golden phrase to say to a woman when you are working on her exploring her
0:06.2	so when you are going to be focusing on her with your hands with your mouth with a toy
0:11.6	because like zander said it's not going to be in so tell her i have all the time in the world for you
0:18.8	as long as you are feeling good i I am happy. So I'm going
0:24.1	to happily keep going until you tell me to stop. Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:38.3	We're your host, Vanessa and Zander Marin.
0:41.3	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:44.3	And I'm just a regular dude.
0:45.3	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:51.3	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable
0:55.1	sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind
1:01.5	closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had.
1:08.6	We are back today to talk more female orgasms.
1:13.7	If you missed it last week, we did a deep dive episode getting into all of your questions.
1:19.5	We talked about how it's one of our favorite topics to talk about.
1:23.2	And we also, like when we were doing the original research for that episode on Instagram,
1:27.8	we got so many messages from partners of women who have struggled to orgasm asking questions, too.
1:34.7	And so we realized, you know what?
1:36.2	Maybe we should do two episodes about this.
1:38.9	One that's explicitly focusing on questions that women have about their own bodies and what they need to get there.
1:45.0	And then one from the partner's perspective.
1:48.0	Yeah.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Vanessa & Xander Marin, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Vanessa & Xander Marin and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.