E207 The Foreplay Episode: The 5 Things We’re All Getting Wrong

Pillow Talks

Vanessa & Xander Marin

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 2.6K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ready for our go-to masterclass on one of the most overlooked (but absolutely essential) parts of intimacy? We’re bringing back one of our most downloaded episodes of all time — and trust us, it’s worth a re-listen (or a first-time bender if you’re new around here). Foreplay — the most misunderstood, rushed-through, and skipped-over part of sex. But here’s the truth: foreplay isn’t optional. It’s not just a warm-up. It’s the whole damn vibe. In this episode, we’re breaking down the 5 biggest mistakes couples make when it comes to foreplay — and how to turn things around so it actually feels good (for both of you). Here’s what we’re diving into: Why “just get to the point” is killing the vibe What makes receiving foreplay so hard (especially for women — hi, it’s not your fault) The most common foreplay ruts we all fall into How to make foreplay fun again — not forced, awkward, or performative A mindset shift that will change how you think about sex forever Whether you’re feeling stuck, unsure what your partner wants, or just ready for a heck of a lot more pleasure… this episode is your permission slip. Links & Resources: 🔥 The Ultimate Foreplay Guides ➡︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/ultimate-foreplay-guides?ref=podcast-207&utm_term=podcast-207 Stay Connected: 📸 Follow us on Instagram @vanessaandxander 💌 Get our weekly email — with behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and so many sex puns 👉🏻 Sign up here! 🎧 Never miss an episode! Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to pods! ================================= THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS ================================= 👏Thanks Beam. Get up to 40% off for a limited time ➡︎ https://shopbeam.com/PILLOW 👏 Thanks Hungryroot. Get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life ➡︎ https://hungryroot.com/pillow 👏Thanks Cozy Earth. Get an exclusive discount for up to 40% off. ➡︎ https://cozyearth.com/pillowtalks 👏Thanks Alloy. Get $20 off your first order today. ➡︎ https://myalloy.com/PILLOW Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Everybody, regardless of gender, wants more of this.
0:04.0	So today we are breaking down the five things that we are all getting wrong about foreplay,
0:09.2	how to have more of it, and how to make it so much better.
0:19.9	Hello and welcome to the Pillow Talks podcast.
0:23.5	We're your host, Vanessa, and Zander Marin.
0:26.1	I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.
0:29.1	And I'm just a regular dude.
0:30.7	We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours.
0:36.4	Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical
0:41.4	relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom
0:47.1	doors and so much more.
0:49.2	It's the sex education you wish you'd had.
0:53.9	Since the beginning of the year, we have welcomed so many new people into our community.
0:58.6	So if you are new, hello, and welcome.
1:02.6	That is really creepy.
1:04.2	Hello.
1:06.0	It made more sense.
1:06.8	Nobody's going to want to watch.
1:08.2	It made more sense if you were watching on YouTube because I went on, hi.
1:13.0	No, I think it was worse on YouTube.
1:16.2	I hope this is not your first episode of Pillow Talks.
1:20.1	Hi, I'm Zander.
	...

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