E160 - Aaron Abke: 3 Hidden Beliefs That Keep You Miserable (and How to Break Free)

Know Thyself

André Duqum

Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 26 August 2025

⏱️ 148 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if the very beliefs you’ve carried your whole life are the source of your suffering? In this episode, Aaron Abke returns to share insights on the ego, breaking down its three core beliefs that keep us trapped in cycles of fear, lack, and control. He explains how our misunderstanding of the ego causes unnecessary suffering—and how, when seen clearly, the ego can actually be an ally on the path of awakening.

Aaron guides us through the process of moving from compulsivity to consciousness, releasing the illusion of lack, and embracing a deeper abundance that is not dependent on external circumstances.

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0:00 Intro

1:35 What Ego is & How It’s Misunderstood

5:12 How Aaron Woke Up To His Ego

10:01 Why Ego is Actually Essential & Useful in Moderation

16:44 Spiritual Bypassing & Misconceptions of Nonduality

26:33 Balancing Individuation with Integration

33:59 Reality of Oneness & Inter-Being

38:09 The 3 Beliefs of the Ego that Keep us Trapped

44:23 Ad: Momentous Creatine

45:29 Overcoming Lack and Embracing Abundance Mindset

1:05:16 Ad: Pique Life

1:06:30 Practical Steps to Transcending Lack in Real Time

1:25:50 The Opportunity Hidden in Challenges

1:35:52 Processing Intense Negative Emotions

1:42:04 Go From Compulsivity to Consciousness

1:46:26 Summary of 3 Steps to Emotional Freedom

1:49:41 Outcome Happiness: How to Find Inner Joy that Doesn’t Go Away

1:54:15 Releasing Control & Surrendering to Life

2:09:49 Growing Through Romantic Relationships

2:17:13 Finding Our Unique Purpose

2:25:00 Conclusion

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Episode Resources:

https://www.instagram.com/aaronabke/

New Book: https://a.co/d/8F82w5t

https://www.youtube.com/@AaronAbke

https://www.instagram.com/andreduqum/

https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/

https://www.youtube.com/@knowthyselfpodcast

https://www.knowthyselfpodcast.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	There is no disguise more clever or more dangerous than the spiritual ego.
0:05.0	So then what is ego?
0:06.0	It's all the ideas you have about who you are that you're identified with that limit you ultimately.
0:10.0	But that definition only took me so far because at a certain point, I'm like, yeah, I know there's a voice in my head,
0:16.0	but it knows all my secrets, it kicks my ass all day, like it's way smarter than me.
0:21.4	There's got to be something more I can understand about this voice in my head.
0:24.8	And that's when the understanding of the three beliefs started coming into the picture.
0:28.8	These are extremely simple concepts.
0:30.8	If you can get a good handle on those three ideas,
0:33.5	then you can start to really experience what it means to go beyond the belief in separation.
0:38.3	And it just begins with this whole practice or philosophy is really designed just to take the guesswork out of it all.
0:44.3	Because how many of us have spent so much time doing trauma work and shadow work, trying to get to the root of our trauma,
0:51.3	we're kind of always chasing the end of the shadow sometimes.
0:54.6	And so, yes, it takes practice, but don't look for it as an outcome.
0:58.7	Can you be one percent better today at being in loving relationship than you were yesterday?
1:09.9	Aaron Abke, welcome back for the three-peat.
1:13.6	Thanks for having me back, man. It's always a pleasure.
1:16.1	The honor is mine. Let's talk about the ego, shall we?
1:19.4	I think it's a good idea.
1:20.8	I think, you know, it's been the great joy of doing this podcast is getting to cover a variety of topics,
1:26.5	and yet none more fundamental
1:28.9	than this perception and sense of eye of how we navigate the world, I think, is really practical
	...

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