E136 - Jillian Turecki: How To Find Love, Keep Love & Become Love
Know Thyself
André Duqum
4.8 • 658 Ratings
🗓️ 25 February 2025
⏱️ 73 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Relationship expert Jillian Turecki reveals how to overcome the blocks that ruin relationships and begin crafting your love life from within. Jillian shares her personal journey, detailing the pivotal moments of miscarriage and divorce that transformed her perspective on love and relationships. She emphasizes that love truly begins with oneself, urging listeners to self-source their wholeness before seeking it in others. As the conversation unfolds, we delve into the pitfalls of expectations and how they can undermine relationships, while also discussing the importance of mindful approaches to love.
Jillian offers insights on how relationships act as mirrors, reflecting our inner selves and highlighting compatibility, especially during the often-glamorous honeymoon phase. Together, we demystify the concept of self-love, challenging societal misconceptions about love and relationships. We tackle tough questions like whether to break up or stay together, the dangers of falling for someone's potential, and identifying red flags, even those that may seem overly nice.
Finally, we explore what men and women generally seek in relationships and the profound lessons she has learned about love, including the importance of making peace with our parents. This conversation is not just about finding the right partner; it’s a deep dive into understanding ourselves better, fostering healthier relationships, and ultimately creating the love life we desire.
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0:00 Intro
1:10 Miscarriage & Divorce: The Turning Point that Changed Her Life
7:23 Love Begins With You
10:40 Self Sourcing Your Wholeness
14:55 Expectations Ruin Relationships
21:34 Finding the One & Surviving the Honeymoon Phase
27:38 Demystifying Self Love
30:37 Ad: BetterHelp
32:13 Our Culture Gets This Wrong About Love
37:24 Should You Break Up or Stay Together?
41:47 Don’t Fall in Love with Potential
45:40 Red Flags: Are They TOO Nice?
50:16 Cultivating Trust in Love & Life
56:48 What Men & Women Really Want (Generally)
1:02:17 Making Peace with Your Parents
1:08:08 The Biggest Lesson She’s Learned from Love
1:10:30 What It Means to Know Thyself
1:12:31 Conclusion
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Jillian Turecki is a relationship coach, teacher, podcaster, writer, and speaker who has devoted her life to helping people revolutionize their relationships with themselves. For over 20 years, Jillian has maintained a deep commitment to authenticity, compassion, and inner transformation as she follows her insatiable curiosity about what makes relationships thrive.
Between Jillian’s podcast, “Jillian on Love,” her newsletter, “Love Weekly,” and her social media community, Jillian reaches millions of people who seek her actionable, compassionate, direct, and research-driven insight. As the founder of Jillian Turecki Coaching, Jillian has changed the lives of countless individuals around the world through her transformative workshops, courses, retreats, and one-on-one coaching sessions. Her forthcoming book is a groundbreaking look at love, partnership and self-love based on Jillian’s decades of experience and research.
Book "It Begins With You": https://www.jillianturecki.com/book
Website: https://www.jillianturecki.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillianturecki/?hl=en
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Know Thyself
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/knowthyself/
Website: https://www.knowthyself.one
Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJ4wglCWTJeWQC0exBalgKg
Listen to all episodes on Audio:
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Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/know-thyself/id1633725927
André Duqum
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship we will ever have. |
| 0:05.3 | The biggest misconception is I'll meet the one and then we are going to have a great relationship. |
| 0:10.7 | It's like, no, you could meet the one and you could screw it all up. |
| 0:14.5 | This is what happens in relationship. |
| 0:16.3 | We have so many expectations. |
| 0:18.0 | And the one expectation that people don't really recognize is somehow this other |
| 0:22.1 | person is responsible for my happiness. And that is happening all the time. There's two camps of |
| 0:27.5 | thought. You have to completely love yourself in order to be in a healthy relationship or it does |
| 0:31.7 | not matter. You learn to love yourself while you're in a relationship. And I see it's somewhere in the |
| 0:36.2 | middle. But the greatest love is love that you feel safe with. |
| 0:39.9 | You really shouldn't commit your heart to someone with whom you don't feel that. |
| 0:44.5 | This feeling that we can't feel fulfilled unless we are in a relationship. |
| 0:49.3 | That's a dangerous place to be. |
| 0:51.5 | Fulfillment truly is an inside job. |
| 0:54.0 | And finding meaning in life and purpose in life, that is something that truly dangerous place to be. Fulfillment truly is an inside job. |
| 0:56.7 | And finding meaning in life and purpose in life, |
| 0:59.5 | that is something that truly begins with us. |
| 1:08.0 | Jillian Tarecki, thank you so much for being here. |
| 1:09.5 | Thank you so much for having me. |
| 1:13.3 | June 2nd, 2014. What happened? |
| 1:21.5 | I woke up that morning to what would be basically an early miscarriage. |
| 1:28.1 | And I made an appointment. My husband had already left for work. |
... |
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