We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 388. J.L.1.112, certificate number 27612.

Certificate number 27612. Dutch Elm Disease.

I speak for the trees.

Let them grow.

Let them grow.

What's your relationship to the forest, Ken?

I know, I think of you as kind of a forest creature.

I am the young prince of the forest, like Bambi.

As a young boy, I like to gamble and frolic there.

Eventually my antlers grew and I took it over and made it my own.

Were your parents, were your parents killed in a devastating forest fire?

They were, but that's actually unrelated.

Oh, I see.

I've combined.

Different forests, different time.

...