We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 378. T. I.O. 301. certificate number 35498. 1. The story you're about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. In a moment the results of that trial do you have TV cops you like do Do you grow up watching cop shows?

Of course.

Starsky and or hutch?

Yeah, the problem with Starsky and Hutch is that I look like a hutch, but I always

wanted to be Starsky.

You feel like you're on the inside you're a Starski?

Yeah, but on the outside I'm a hutch.

Same with with Paunch and John.

You know I wanted to be Paunch but I was John.

No, you've kind of got the punch now.

A little bit of punch.

It was the same with the...

I didn't really watch Dukes of Hazard.

Not a cop show, but I definitely wanted to be the

bad guy. I always wanted to be the small dark guy and I always was the big blonde guy

...