Drabblecast Presents: In Search of The Burmese Floridian Python

The Drabblecast Audio Fiction Podcast

Norm Sherman

Comedy Fiction, Fiction, Science Fiction

4.8 • 975 Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2018

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Cryptozoologist Connor Choadsworth deep into the Florida Everglades in search of the elusive and decidedly misplaced “Burmese Floridian Python…” Pallid, oddly-accented Choadsworth and his slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging camera man Jeff embark on an exhaustive trek deep into f&$%ing Florida! Seriously, what kind of creatures actually live in f&$%ing Florida? Meet the Burmese Floridian Python: A snake […]

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're not going to be here. Hello. I'm Connor Chodesworth.
0:27.0	Cryptozoologist, extraordinary.
0:31.0	Cryptozoologist.
0:32.0	And this week, we're searching for the elusive Burmese Python.
0:36.0	A snake which can grow to length of 15 feet long, weigh over 200 pounds, and eat an adult sheep hole.
0:45.0	Which sounds kind of gay, doesn't it?
0:48.0	Not there's anything wrong with that.
0:50.0	Well, it is a sheep, so that's not really cool now what makes these Python so elusive you might ask I was kind of wondering about that
1:01.1	nobody asked you.
1:03.4	It's because we're in fucking fraud, that's why.
1:06.7	It's like trying to search for Carmen San Diego
1:09.8	anywhere other than San Diego.
1:12.2	It's just stupid, pointless. Like closed captioning on a porno.
1:19.1	But there have been numerous alleged and unconfirmed reports of invasive species here in Big Cyprus State Park.
1:27.0	And wherever there are alleged and unconfirmed reports, there just might be alleged and unconfirmed creatures. The Florida Mudfish, predator of the Everglades.
1:56.2	Look at those teeth.
1:59.4	All the better to norm you with.
2:01.4	Off you go, nature. The freshwater garfish, another predator of the everglades.
2:17.0	Look at the teeth on that mother.
2:22.0	I'm not entirely confident in the mother.
2:24.3	Could be a father.
2:28.9	No way to tell with these bastards.
	...

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