There's so many problems with this movie, so many flaws and historical inaccuracies and indefensible viewpoints that it's a travesty.

Apparently it's regarded as a classic of American cinema,

but it is actually a neo-colonialist apologia for crypto-fascism,

popular only because it's directed by that precious and entitled Hack, Stanley Kubrick, who is famous for only one thing, the sex scenes and eyes wide shut.

Otherwise, this movie has no redeeming qualities and I fought its inclusion on this list until the bitter end.

It was only when Adam and Ben threatened to quit the show if I refused to tacitly endorse this

hot garbage that I relented.

But there is no valid reason to watch this film,

and I submit that even saying the title aloud is an act of aggression.

Ah, no, I am trolling you.

Lall.

This is an all-time great movie, and I think we should I am trolling you. Lall.

This is an all-time great movie and I think we should celebrate its release as a national holiday

even though it was filmed in England.

I know some people haven't seen it.

Some people haven't been to Disneyland or Red Beloved or eaten Kraft Macaroni and Cheese either.

It goes without saying I think you should do those things too.

I also think you should take mushrooms at some point in your life and when you go to a costume party I think you should

really make an effort to dress up and don't just wear the one suit you wear to everything

with a fake mustache.

This film almost certainly changed the course of history simply by playing the most terrifying mid-century horrors as farce.

Who knows what hesitation it later inspired in the hearts of the young future Pentagonians?

...